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from Episode 4 of Cop Rock As featured in Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. Starring Dennis Cockrum, also known for his role as Terry Milkovich on Shameless Thumbnail art by Eve Doolin and Cody MacKenzie For full context of the "Baby Merchant" story, check out our RECUT of the "Patty" subplot. Lyrics: When you're shopping for a dream come true A little package in a pink or blue All depends on who you're talking to Don't you worry bout a thing 'Cus you know I got the goods for you The city gives us such a run around Those pencil pushers only put you down And lawyers ain't the only game in town That's a migraine and a half I won't put you through I'm the Baby Merchant. Tots'R'Us I give you all the service, and no damn fuss give the baby merchant just a week or two I'll have your baby for you. ooooooo, yeah yeah I always got a good supply at hand Deliver anything that you demand A piece of heaven for 11 grand That's a small price to pay for a toddler today It ain't a question of morality I'm not concerned with any trumped up illegality We're just one big happy family Its a pleasure doing business the American way I'm the Baby Merchant. Tots'R'Us I give you all the service, and no damn fuss Give the baby merchant just a week or two I'll have your baby for you. Picture yourself in your house with a new son or daughter No one at all has to know that the parents who brought her up Bought her from the... Baby Merchant, Tots'R'Us I give you, all the service and no damn fuss You give the, baby merchant just a week or two I'll have your baby I'll have your baby for you I'll have your baby for you. Also thanks to Madison Metricula Roberts for tabbing out the song for those who want to cover it: https://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/tab/... We do not own the rights to any of this content. It is being shared for free out of love and respect, and as a tribute to an under-appreciated work of art. We hope that by sharing and recontextualizing COP ROCK for a new audience, it will regain popularity and its legacy will live on. We encourage everyone to buy the the series on DVD [https://www.shoutfactory.com/product/...]