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Today I want to share something that I have been going through behind the scenes during this pandemic. Things for me have been pretty bad, I lost someone who was like a mum to me to cancer and a dear friend who hung himself in prision while dealing with grief I was also dealing with abuse in my home! My support worker/carer was emotionally, verbally, and finicailly abusive towards me and I kept/keeping a very dark secret which I am still not ready to share I reported it to the @metpolice_uk and @southwarkcouncil and still nothing has been done to investigate this it's now been a whole year this month. I have been on a waiting list for long-term trauma thearpy (which I only got because a black talking thearapist who recommended it to me) and I have finally accepted mental health medication to get myself feeling like I want to live again and to be able to sleep again without night terrors. This bridge was were I pictured myself parking my accessible van, wheeling on to the bridge and jump just to end my life. To share this takes a lot but this is my first step to getting better. Everything that glitters is not gold. I am vunerable and have felt this way for many years! So enjoy this video but look with compassion and not envy, I don't want to always be that strong black woman but I have to because I have no other choice, millions of people will remember who I am one day and I need to stick around as long as possible. PLEASE GET HELP IF YOU NEED IT DON'T BE ASHAMED TELL SOMEONE WHATS GOING ON BEFORE ITS TOO LATE