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Going Anywhere

Written in 1998, recording from Howling Wolf Folk Club in Lethbridge AB, 2000. After my volunteer experience at a daycare in Brazil, I embarked on my first real post secondary education experience at Grant MacEwan College in the department of Early Childhood Development. I had avoided University and College in my early adulthood thinking myself a unique individual destined for a unique future. I was a student of the world! But, here I was. I lasted a single year. It was a good year. But the whole time I was working on assignments and going to and from school, I questioned myself and what I was doing. The daily grind got to me. Was it the right path? It often felt like it wasn't and that though I was moving forward with my career as a early childhood educator, I was stagnating creatively. I still feel that way sometimes. Life gets in the way of what my heart longs for me to do. But unlike my younger self, I can see the bigger picture a little clearer now and am not as critical of stagnation. I know what fermentation can do. Marinating takes time and makes food taste better. Not going anywhere is not necessarily not progressing. But it sure doesn't feel that way when you are in the waiting room. I had seen the first cloud of spring like a lost child wandering I wondered was it lost at all or just hitching a ride on an aimless wind Then I boarded on a bus and saw the faces lost in stare knowing they were moving but not going anywhere I had stood beneath an open sky hand in hand with the question why I felt the comfort a night can bring removing me from everything Then I drove my car away and through the window saw the glare of the moon as it followed me but wasn't going anywhere I had stood in an ocean breeze between the land and stretching sea About my head the whispers whirled I'm a boat with its sail not yet unfurled Then the ferry pulled away and although I paid the fare I felt like I was moving but not going anywhere