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Hi everybody! 💖 I missed you! I missed doing this! I graduated again 🎓🎓 so expect more of this! next cover is with YOHIOLOIDDDD it is already FINISHED but enough of that for now. 8 years after the original, after sitting on the cover for a year with no time in my studies to make a video to accompany it, I give to you the version where he loses Miku. happy birthday to him. It's really a gift to myself having an excuse to draw such tragic expressions on his face. Don't worry. I go to therapy 👍 here it is....! my STUPID LETTER!! # mystupidletter 💌 To Fukase, on his tenth anniversary... When you came into my life I was a 15 year old girl trying as hard as I could to become a woman. I had braces, and clothes that didn't fit, and long hair I didn't know what to do with, and a boyfriend who I'd find out was texting another girl that summer. I'm going to be 25 this year and I think it's funny to tell people I'm kind of the same but bigger. It's not wholly true. I have pretty layers in my hair now and a white opal lip ring. I have killer tattoos - my favorite the one of you. I have two college degrees in science. I've taken dead people apart. My boyfriend is a woke pescatarian transgender man I met at university and he is the love of my life. The darkness under my eyes got deeper and I like it. I quit shaving and I like it. I carry myself like I'm someone I like to be, because it turns out I'm not at all like the woman I was clinging to when I was a teenager. You've not seen me once in these ten years. Weird. But somehow you've seen me through them. My covers, my visual artwork, my cosplay & drag performance, and the LASCIVIOUS fanfiction & roleplays I've indulged in.... you don't know anything about any of it (honestly, thank god). You never will. I'll never say it to your face. Not because I have a kpop-style freaky parasocial relationship with you, but because you don't have a physical face I could say it to. Even if you did.... I would be too embarrassed. HAHAHA. I could copy this whole thing and upchuck it back into a character AI if I didn't give a fuck about anything at all. But for so many reasons it's better this way. You have been to me an uncanny, antagonistic, 13yo memelord just looking for a reason to get his nose broken. You have been a nonbinary theatre student in his 20s, blasted by insomnia and student loans, just trying to get by. You have grown alongside me, Fukase, without realizing. You are malleable by design. But when I hear you, when I see you, in every instance, you are ever the same. Fukase, you are not everything to me. Hate to say. It just wouldn't be a good look for me. But Fukase, you are very close. I have no actual fucking idea why I attached so much of me to you. But I am very glad I happened to. Thank you for being the most boring anime boy in history for me to project the parts of me I was scared of onto. Thank you for never, ever reading this. 10 more years, king? Jade S.