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*Title:* Welcome to the Grand European Nursery *Genre:* Big Band • Jazz • Cabaret • Satire • Musical Theatre *Theme:* Political allegory using a nursery playground metaphor This song is a big-band cabaret opening number that introduces a fictional “Grand European Nursery,” where European countries are represented as children sharing a playground. The lyrics describe **27 kids sitting in a circle of chairs**, symbolizing cooperation, voting, shared resources, and decision-making. The song uses playful imagery like crayons, snacks, swings, and nap-time treaties to represent diplomacy, budgets, and policy debates. Each verse introduces different children representing European countries and their personalities, highlighting collaboration, differences, and the need for unanimous decisions. The chorus repeats the idea that **everyone has a plan, a vote, and something to protect**, reinforcing the themes of compromise and cooperation. A key moment in the song introduces **nine children waiting at the gate**—Albania, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Georgia, Moldova, Montenegro, North Macedonia, Serbia, Turkey, and Ukraine—symbolizing countries hoping to join the circle. This creates a hopeful and emotional contrast between the established group and those waiting for a place. The song ends with a warm, optimistic finale emphasizing growth, unity, shared responsibility, and the idea that **the circle keeps growing over time**. *Keywords:* EU satire, political cabaret song, big band musical, European nursery metaphor, diplomacy allegory, musical theatre satire, ensemble opening number, jazz comedy song. #politicalsatire #cabaret #bigband #europeanunion