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Request an Instrumental: https://forms.gle/ZARXjjXroAnD6a1t7 'Model Behavior' from "Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown" Music and Lyrics by David Yazbek [ANSWERING MACHINE, spoken] You have twenty-seven messages. [CANDELA, spoken] Pepa? Pepa, it's me. Are you there? Call me. [Pepa fast-forwards to the next message.] Hi, it's me again, Candela. Where are you? Just call me when you get this. Okay? Okay. Pepa? Pepa?! (sung) Pepa, it's me again Why aren't you picking up the phone? It's like my brain is gonna melt if I don't talk to you I've got a problem in the shower And I've only got a minute ‘Cause the problem in the shower Is this guy that I've been dating named Malik He's… what's the word? Swarthy, like a desert sheik And he's been here in my apartment for about a week I met him down at Cafe Sombra And I know you think I'm overly romantic But you wouldn't believe the connection we had Like immediately I was ready for him to Meet my mom Like I could feel my heart exploding like some kind of bomb Which is ironic because actually I think he literally has some kind of… (spoken) Anyway, Grandpa, happy birthday. Say hello to Grandma and be sure to take your… (sung) That was him! I may be jumping to conclusions, God I hope I am He thinks I'm thin and he's got shoulders like Jean-Claude Van Damme Listen, call me when you hear this I'll be here for half an hour Call me back! [Pepa fast-forwards to the next message. Candela is now at a phone booth on the street.] Pepa? Are you there? Are you there? Are you… Okay, you're not there but we need to talk My stomach's aching like I swallowed some enormous rock I'm at the phone booth on the corner And I've only got a minute ‘cause I'm running out of change 'Cause I've been lending all my money to Malik God knows with men I'm not exactly on a lucky streak But this one really is a mess, I think I'm gonna freak I know you say I'm an alarmist but I'm not Remember there's that time I thought I saw a spider? You said "nah, it's a raisin" But it suddenly started moving And it crawled over and bit me on the toe So if you're gonna stand in judgement That's how much you know It's a good thing I didn't eat it But I never would have ate it ‘Cause I never did like raisins So why would there be a raisin on the floor? So when you hear this call me back I'll wait a little more I'll be at seven-seven-three… (spoken) Damn, they scratched out the number… And misspelled "vagina." (sung) All right I'm hanging up, I'll call you back! Pepa Okay, I'm trying you again, it's afternoon It's like my eyes are gonna pop if I don't get you soon I'm at the studio, which sucks Because I'm having trouble working 'Cause the only thing I think about's This crazy situation with Malik I don't know what I'm gonna do if you and I don't speak I know you think I'm just a drama queen But actually I'm practical and damn it, I'm a model So of course I feel things deeper than most people Typically do And anyway I think my life may be in danger too You won't believe what he's got hidden in the… (spoken) Oh, Fernando's working here! He's lost a lot of weight and, wow, he got that thing removed! He just looks… Pepa... Marcos... (sung, back into phone) He says hello And now he's telling me we're shooting So I've gotta go It's some big deal ad campaign I don't know what it's for They've got me posing with A melon and a matador Some kind of metaphor Call me back! Pepa, it's eight I don't know why you're treating me like this Pepa, it's almost ten o'clock You really are a terrible friend Pepa, I'm sorry I've never felt so frightened and alone I'm like a helpless little kitten up a… [A man knocks on the phone booth door.] (spoken) HEY! I'M ON THE FUCKING PHONE! (sung, back into phone) Please call me back [Pepa fast-forwards through a night-full of messages:] Pepa, it's midnight. Are you screening? It's three a.m. You have to call me! … would never do this to you! What kind of a friend … What was the name of that cheese that I like? [Pepa fast-forwards one more time. We suddenly hear Iván's voice:] [IVÁN, spoken] Pepa? Pepa, sweetheart. Listen, I need to tell you… [ANSWERING MACHINE, spoken] Tape is full. End of messages. [Pepa pulls the machine from the wall and throws it out the window.] [CANDELA] Pepa Okay, now even your machine's ignoring me Listen, Pepa, I know you think I'm needy but you've got to see… I'm feeling kind of woozy, I've been crying for an hour And my boyfriend has an Uzi, and he doesn't clean the shower And I don't know where you are I don't know where I am I'm halfway up a tree and completely in a jam I'm out here in the desert and nobody gives a damn Pepa? Pepa! Pepa… Call me back!