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Immia - When The Night Fades

When a man’s ability to connect with women is limited to sexual or narrowly physical interaction, it reveals a deeper relational deficit. Because after intimacy—what remains? This shouldn’t be a philosophical mystery. A woman is not a disposable object—a sack of potatoes that ceases to exist once the objective is complete. Unless, of course, one is comfortable with reducing women to means rather than recognizing them as human beings. And while it is true that women do not owe men anything, that fact does not erase the cause-and-effect reality of this dynamic. A lack of obligation does not excuse a lack of humanity. When a woman is treated this way, it means desire was satisfied while her humanity was never acknowledged. She becomes the recipient of objectification within an act that is often framed—incorrectly—as “connection.” What is even more disturbing is hearing men—even relationship coaches—openly admit they felt nothing when a woman cried after pursuing them, after offering vulnerability, effort, and emotional presence. Yes, women benefit from wisdom and discernment in these situations. But that does not absolve men of responsibility for how they behave once engagement occurs. Even when a woman does everything “right,” there is always the potential for harm when a man enters from a place of detachment. And the reality is this: many men do not care—because on some level, they already know they are acting in bad faith and have failed for that reason. They come engaging women already feeling like loosers or they wouldn't just target physical satiation. In truth? Sex is validation. They agree to engage from emotional distance, rationalize it afterward, and accept outcomes they would never tolerate for themselves. The truth is simple: If connection dissolves once desire is satisfied, the issue isn’t just sex. It is the absence of genuine relating. It reflects a lack of conviction as a thinking human being—someone capable of logic, empathy, and accountability when engaging with people outside himself. Over time, this pattern becomes dehumanizing. The real question is what happens afterward. Can you remain present? Can you relate as a rational adult rather than operating from primitive, conditioned impulse? Can you still care, listen, and acknowledge the person in front of you? Or does common sense disappear once the want is fulfilled? When everything is reduced to objectives, we begin to objectify whatever we touch. People become outcomes instead of experiences. And intimacy collapses into extraction. I have spent a great deal of time observing this, and one thing I pay close attention to is personality structure—because it reveals what a man is actually capable of around me. If someone lacks the internal structure for intimacy, connection, and sustained presence? no amount of modern language can disguise the truth. No amount of performative “feminine” rhetoric or complacency compensates for a man who does not know how to be fully human. He is operating on conditioned impulse, not conscious relating. That is not masculinity. It is regression—shaped and reinforced by environment, not awareness. Of course, This reflection inspired my song. It asks the most basic questions—and in doing so, honors the humanity within another person. While many move through life calculating from narrow tunnel vision, some of us have to be the ones who actually think, who pause, who recognize the human being in front of us—and within ourselves. This song did that for me. " When the Night Fades " (Verse 1) When the night fades out, and the fire cools down, Will you still be here, or just a ghost in the crowd? Because the body speaks, but the heart’s the unknown, And after the want, what remains of the soul? (Pre-Chorus) Is there space to breathe? Or do you just leave? When the hunger’s fed, do you remember me? (Chorus) Can you stay after the want? When the flame is gone, will you still hold on? Or does the silence scream, “I’m done”? Can you see me when the light is gone? Can you stay after the want? (Verse 2) It’s easy to reach when the fire is bright, But harder to stay when it dims in the night. I’m not a prize, not a game to be won, I’m the story still breathing when the race is done. (Pre-Chorus) Is there space to breathe? Or do you just leave? When the hunger’s fed, do you remember me? (Chorus) Can you stay after the want? When the flame is gone, will you still hold on? Or does the silence scream, “I’m done”? Can you see me when the light is gone? Can you stay after the want? (Bridge) It’s not just the touch, it’s the holding tight, The courage to be there in the fading light. When desire dissolves, what will you choose? To leave me alone, or walk the truth? (Final Chorus) Can you stay after the want? When the flame is gone, will you still hold on? Or does the silence scream, “I’m done”? Can you see me when the light is gone? Can you stay after the want? Can you stay?