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Not The Worst

I’ve been lower than this By a long shot I’ve sat with the kind of pain That doesn’t talk This right here? It’s pressure, sure But it doesn’t shake my hands Like it used to I remember nights Where the ceiling felt close Like the room was shrinking Around every thought Compared to that This is noise I know the difference Now This isn’t the worst I’ve been through worse I didn’t come out clean I came out worked This isn’t the worst I know that now I’ve got weight in my steps I don’t back down I learned power Isn’t loud It’s staying upright When the doubt crowds It’s knowing where the line is Because you crossed it before And survived something You weren’t built for I’ve felt empty Real empty Not bored, not sad But gone So when things hit now I measure them different I don’t panic I respond I don’t need to prove What I can take I already know My capacity This isn’t the worst I’ve been through worse I didn’t come out clean I came out worked This isn’t the worst I know that now I’ve got weight in my steps I don’t back down I don’t chase strength I recognize it In the way I don’t flinch At the same old threats Things that used to Crush my chest Now just knock And wait I’ve paid for lessons In real time With real scars And no applause So if I sound calm In the middle of this It’s not luck It’s cost I know what breaking feels like This isn’t it I know how deep it goes This doesn’t compare This isn’t the worst I’ve been through worse I carry that weight And it works This isn’t the worst I stand taller now I didn’t lose myself I found power I don’t fear the storm I remember surviving the flood This? This is manageable