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To Wage War

[Verse 1] I wake with fire in my chest And doubt like rust upon my hands I know the words I should live by I know how easy they will bend [Verse 2] The road is marked with quiet rules No banners flown, no praise in sight It’s easier to close my eyes Than hold the line another night [Chorus] This is the war I fight alone No blades in hand, no blood to show To stay upright, to not give in To wage war on what I am [Verse 3] I hear the voice that speaks in calm It says, “Just once won’t change a thing” It dresses wrong in reason’s skin And calls surrender “understanding” [Chorus] This is the war I fight alone No songs are sung for self-control Every step the harder way To wage war just to stay the same [Verse 4] No one would know, no one would care If I crossed over, just a bit The fall is short, the ground is soft Conviction dies from small defeats [Bridge] Good isn’t loud, it doesn’t shine It doesn’t win by crushing foes It’s choosing right when no one sees And paying debts you’ll never show [Final Chorus] So let me bleed in silent ways Let me stand when I could fold If this path costs me comfort, peace I’ll pay it just to keep my soul I won’t be crowned, I won’t be saved But when I face what I’ve become I’ll know I chose the harder fight I chose to wage war — and won