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You ever notice how when the government shuts down, such as the one this year, conveniently all birds disappear from all over the country? And how the day the government “opens up” again suddenly it’s like every bird on the planet fornicated 30 times overnight? Also have you ever seen a baby pigeon? You’d think at least one in your life but I’m here to tell you they don’t exist. It’s a conspiracy with actual backing. Any photos you may see are government propaganda. Just like campaign ads, Ariana Grande, Starbucks, the entire university system, and $3 McChickens. Remember when McChickens were a buck? Anti shoutout the government for artificially producing inflation to screw over the bottom 99% of the country so they can fill their pockets with bribes and blood money from assassinating yet another government official from Turkmenistan or Liberia or wherever it is now. Anyway, shoutout Kylie Paige, KFC, Dick Trickle, and of course, our good buddies Boat, Larry, and Kristy.