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The Laundry Song

Lyrics Verse 1 Every week like clockwork, two or three a.m., The house is dead quiet, but the laundry calls again. I’ve been dodgin’ that corner like it owes me rent, Watchin’ socks climb Mount Orange in a bucket on wheels resentment bent. That pile keeps whisperin’, “You can’t ignore me, friend,” I glare from my recliner like, “We’ll talk on the weekend.” But nope tonight’s the night, it’s overflowin’ sin, So I sigh real deep like, “Fine… you win.” Pre-Chorus Slippers on my feet, hat pulled down low, Walkin’ like a raccoon with a mission to go. Middle of the night, half alive, half dead, Mutterin’ life choices all the way downstairs. Chorus I’m doin’ laundry at stupid o’clock, Spending fifteen bucks just to dry damp socks. The washer lies, the dryer’s a scam, Every cycle ends with a wet betrayal plan. I didn’t save the world, didn’t win again, But I hauled that bucket down like a grown-ass man So write it down, mark it in pen: Tonight I adulted again. Verse 2 I load that washer like a scientist proud, Perfect balance, not too big, not too loud. Press the button like, “We cool? We friends?” That machine nods back like it understands. An hour goes by time to switch the load, I open that dryer like, “Let’s go, bro.” Hit “High Heat,” “Extra Dry,” all the lies, Come back later and, surprise, surprise. Pre-Chorus Still damp jeans, hoodie crying rain, Socks feel like they swam in a public drain. I stare at the dryer like, “Explain yourself,” It just hums smugly, thinkin’ ‘bout no one else. Chorus I’m doin’ laundry at stupid o’clock, Feeding coins to a monster that won’t do its job. One more cycle, same damn end, Warm, wet clothes mocking me again. I didn’t glow up, didn’t transcend, But I fought that dryer ‘til 4 a.m. Tell the world, text all ten: Tonight I adulted again. Bridge Look I could’ve stayed upstairs, comfy and smug, But responsibility kicked me right in the lug. That orange bucket rolled like a shopping cart of shame, Squeakin’ down the hallway sayin’ my government name. People out here flexin’ houses and Benz, I’m flexin’ clean underwear by the weekend. This ain’t glamorous, this ain’t zen, This is survival with fabric softener, friend. Verse 3 Finally foldin’ clothes at five a.m., Brain’s on airplane mode, soul’s on 1%. I miss one sock gone to the void, Laundry gods laugh, deeply annoyed. I stack those shirts like I won a prize, Even though everything’s still kinda damp on the sides. Drag that bucket back like a champion worn, Sun comin’ up, hope slightly reborn. Final Chorus I’m doin’ laundry at stupid o’clock, Dryer still shady, but I gave it my shot. Life ain’t perfect, but here I stand, With semi-dry clothes and a victory plan. Didn’t fix it all, didn’t ascend, But I showed up, tried hard, and paid my ten Say it loud, say it proud, my friend: Tonight… Yeah tonight… I adulted again.