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I am the very model of a socially adventurous sylph, My romantic bibliography could overflow a library shelf, From nobles, guards, and scholars to a bard who played the harp too loud, And one extremely handsome cloud-mage met before a tipsy crowd. I’ve danced with dashing duelists and a ranger in a tree at dawn, A sailor who insisted that his ship was where he “belonged,” A cleric who said afterward it counted as a sin or two, Then asked if I was busy later “just in case repentance grew.” I’ve flirted with a thunderbird (it didn’t go as planned at all), A prince who wrote me poetry that made the serving staff appalled, A brooding warlock in a cloak who swore he had a tragic past, But mostly just enjoyed the fact my attention didn’t last. I’ve dallied with an alchemist who smelled of smoke and rosemary, A knight who tried to duel my ex and tripped on his own finery, A dancer from the Summer Court, a spy who wouldn’t say their name, And someone from a masquerade who never came back quite the same. I’ve kissed beneath the rainbow bridges, courted danger, wine, and song, Occasionally forgotten who I’d promised all along, But every single rendezvous was tasteful, bold, and mostly sweet — Except the one involving feathers, honey, and a broken seat. Yes, I am quite accomplished in affairs both scandalous and brief, A virtuoso of romance (and sometimes mild emotional grief), Yet though my list is lengthy and my reputation hard to quell… I swear I knew their names at least — I just don’t kiss and tell!