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Once I was lightning, reflexes untamed Headshots at midnight, eternal in flame Now I rise slowly from my ergonomic throne With a heating pad forged from the aches I have known My guild calls for battle at half past nine But by ten-thirty sharp I decline For the raid is long and my back is weak And I pulled something just reaching for a drink Ohhh, I squint through the glare of destiny Where are my glasses? They were just on me… I’M LEVEL FORTY — STILL I FIGHT! With creaking knees in neon light! My fingers slow but my spirit fast! A veteran forged from expansions past! Though my back may crack like thunder’s roar And I can’t see loot drops on the floor — I raise my mouse with aging might! LEVEL FORTY… STILL I CRIT TONIGHT! Once I could grind from dusk till dawn Now two hours in — my will is gone The minimap blurs like prophecy Was that an enemy… or a shrubbery? My aim once sharp as a dragon’s fang Now trembles like an old LAN gang But wisdom flows where speed has fled I know the boss mechanics — I just forget what you said Ohhh, my wrist brace shines in sacred steel Carpal tunnel is real… so real… I’M LEVEL FORTY — STILL I FIGHT! Blue-light glasses in the night! With muscle cream and caffeine brew And tactical breaks at 10:02! Though the youngsters laugh at my reaction time They don’t survive like this old spine! I’ve patched and nerfed and lagged through strife — LEVEL FORTY… GAMING FOR LIFE!