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In this episode of Unscripted and Unstoppable, host Laureen Quick is joined by Susan Finazzo, birth doula and childhood educator, for a grounded conversation about one of the most tender (and rarely discussed) identity transitions after 50: When a baby is born… a mother is born… a father is born... and quietly, a grandmother is born too. Together, Laureen and Susan explore how grandmothers can show up during birth—and in the weeks that follow—with presence, humility, steadiness, and respect for the new parents’ autonomy. This conversation is not a “how-to.” It’s an orientation for women who want to support their adult children without taking over—and who want to build a strong foundation for the evolving family relationships that begin in this moment. ~What We Talk About~ -Why a grandmother’s presence can either steady the room or raise the pressure -How your own birth memories can quietly shape your reactions -What “support” looks like when your daughter’s choices differ from what you would choose -Why preparation and communication matter (before birth, not during conflict) -How grandmothers can support without rescuing -The role of a doula—and how support roles can be clarified ahead of time -Susan’s BRAIN decision tool for interventions. -The core reminder: You are invited into this story, but it is not your story ~Episode Timeline~ 0:07 Welcome + what this podcast is for 0:40 “When a baby is born… a mother is born… and a grandmother is born too” 1:13 The questions many grandmothers hold: presence, role, autonomy 2:03 Introducing Susan Finazzo + her approach to birth support 3:18 “Not a how-to. It’s an orientation.” 4:06 How a grandmother shapes the emotional environment in the birthing room 6:06 Laureen’s story: her mother leaving the room during labor (and why) 8:27 How to tell when your past is driving your reaction in the present 10:17 Susan’s experience: postpartum support + learning the “background role” 12:39 This isn’t a moment to wing it: foundation-setting for lifelong relationships 14:43 Supporting choices you don’t agree with: staying emotionally connected 16:11 Why inviting grandma into childbirth classes can help clarify roles 17:40 Grandmotherhood as a “roller coaster” of role negotiation + family dynamics 19:38 Expansion of “family” and the inner growth this requires 21:00 Navigating dynamics with the new father/partner: respecting the primary unit 23:22 Shifts in modern birth culture and grandparent mindset 26:41 When birth gets complicated: how grandmothers can stay steady 28:37 What a doula actually does 32:10 The BRAIN tool for informed decisions 34:25 Laureen on advocacy + knowing your body in birth 36:19 The pre-birth conversation: what to ask your daughter/daughter-in-law 38:10 Story: how grandma’s presence (even on Zoom) can sway decisions 41:50 “Who do I want to be when this is over?” 43:23 The essential inner work: letting go of control + remembering whose story this is 46:23 Susan’s grounding reminder: birth lays the foundation for a new family story 47:25 Closing reflections + invitation to connect + upcoming blog series ~Connect with Susan Finazzo~ Susan Barrett Finazzo is a certified birth doula, childbirth educator, and the founder of My Baby Lady, Inc., where she has supported expectant families for more than a decade. With over 12 years of experience as a birth doula and nearly 15 years teaching childbirth education, Susan is passionate about helping parents approach labor and birth with confidence, preparation, and calm. In addition to her work as a doula and educator, Susan is a certified faith-based counselor, baby planner, and a Better Birth 360°® Instructor. She is also certified in Child and Baby First Aid/CPR/AED through the American Red Cross and in Neonatal Resuscitation through the American Academy of Pediatrics. A wife, mother, and grandmother herself, Susan brings both professional expertise and deep personal understanding to her work supporting families during pregnancy, birth, and the early postpartum period. ~Connect with Susan~ Website: https://www.mybabylady.com/ Facebook: / mybabylady4u LinkedIn: / susan-finazzo Instagram: / susan.mybabylady If this conversation resonated, I encourage you to connect with Susan and explore her work. She offers a grounded, evidence-based, deeply relational approach to birth and family support. ~Follow Along with Laureen~ This week on Your Next Chapter, Laureen is writing about becoming a grandmother as an unexpected adventure in identity terrain—the shifts, the complexity, the beauty, and the quiet recalibrations this season brings. Learn more and subscribe to the blog here: https://substack.com/@laureenquick ~Connect with Laureen~ Facebook: / laureen.quick LinkedIn: / laureenquick Instagram: / laureen_quick Email: laureenquick@gmail.com