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I was in a car accident at age 18 and was given pain meds here and there for this and that, never on a reg basis though but whenever I took pain meds I felt better than ever. Fast forward to age 24, I had a operation on my throat and a doctor with a heavy hand for prescriptions gave me hundreds at a time for months. He began prescribing me Tramadol, 400 at a time. He told me they were as safe as Tylenol and kept me on them for at least 3 years and then he stopped, I am not sure why. He may have lost his practice. I really did not know I was addicted but I do know I didn’t feel good at all then, so I started doctor hopping — Doctor shopping was still OK back then. I did this for at least 8 years — if it wasn’t me, it was my sister. We always had a prescription. Until one day… NONE! That was when some one told me to do heroin while pain meds left my system. I had no idea they were one and the same. Within 3 days I was full blown addicted; within 6 months I was shooting; within a year I was spending 3 hundred a day just to feel ok. I then went on the rehab path — 8 of them. I failed every attempt so I went on to a huge dose of methadone — 200 mg a day — for 3 years, then slowly went down off of that because there was a new drug called suboxone. I took “subs” for at least 2 years, moved away from the town I grew up in, and left with a taper dose of suboxone. This was in 2005. THAT was hell. After that I was in so much pain day to day I found a doctor that prescribed me 400 pills a month for pain until one day he was gone I checked into a rehab for 6 months that is where they convinced me I was a drug addict and taught me how to be sensible and this was also where antidepressants came in 2008. It was an experiment and NONE of them helped at all. They made me suicidal but they kept on with them. I also found pain meds where I was not supposed to and bought them when ever I could from whomever I could. In 2010, I remembered that a doctor told me in 2005 I had something called fibromyalgia. I carried myself to the doctor I see now and he put me on pain meds the legal way and I could not seem to get enough. I always ran out before the month was over. I was also prescribed all kinds of antidepressants that I kept trying to make work for me. I was really sick of living this way. In 2011 I ran into a soldier who was injured while in Afghanistan and he told me how kratom saved him from 15 pills a day. I tried it and he was right…it helped. I started easing up on pain meds and no more antidepressants. I failed to list a slew of other medications I was on but I was on at least 6 pills for fibromyalgia, too. It took me a while to find a good source of this plant but once I did, my entire life changed. I now look forward to getting up in the morning as before I wished I were dead. I was no good to anyone. I wish my kids had a mother that wasn’t always sick, but at least they have a grandmother that is awesome to their kids. It is just a shame I had to go through so much to find a cure from what ever this is that I might have…I am no longer looking for answers — I found them in kratom….PLEASE don’t take my sanity away.” (Kim Jerue)