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Alejandro Varela’s debut novel, The Town of Babylon (https://bookshop.org/a/112868/9781662...) , was published in 2022, and was a finalist for the National Book Award. His second book, a collection of short stories titled The People Who Report More Stress (https://bookshop.org/a/112868/9781662...) , came out in 2023. I invited Alejandro to join me for the final QLP Book Club of the year to discuss his third book, Middle Spoon (https://bookshop.org/a/112868/9780593...) —which was released in September—and details a gay man’s anxiety after his breakup with his boyfriend, while his husband and children and everyone else watch from the sidelines as he unravels. It’s an epistolary novel told through unsent emails—primarily to his ex-boyfriend Ben, as well as his mother, his child, and his therapists (yes he has two)—since, as Alejandro explained, this framework allowed for the narrator to be vulnerable and say many things that he needed to get out of his system as he dealt with the grief of a breakup. As I recently discussed with Alex Alberto (https://queerloveproject.substack.com...) , few contemporary novels explore poly relationships in a positive light (Sally Rooney’s (https://bookshop.org/a/112868/9781250...) Intermezzo (https://bookshop.org/a/112868/9781250...) (https://bookshop.org/a/112868/9781250...) is often cited as another), and Alejandro’s is an essential new interpretation of modern queer love told with sensitivity. The narrative refuses easy categorization—the narrator is a mess—and is packed with some elegant, philosophical writing. We covered a lot of topics, and I shared a couple clips from the audiobook narrated by Eddie Lopez during our chat. Alejandro was generous with his insights into so many contemporary relationship issues, including: Why public health research has figured so prominently into his books and stories. The idea of PEPs—progressive except for polyamory—and why some people just can’t handle the idea of having a non-hierarchical relationship structure. The “roles” in gay male relationships—both sexual ones and domestic ones. The original working title of the novel was A Children’s Guide to Heartbreak. Finally, Alejandro’s answer to the question, “How do you define love?” was particularly sophisticated, and one I think many people can appreciate and incorporate into their worldview. “You can’t prepare anyone for heartbreak... I never talked to my parents about heartbreak. That was never a thing that my mom said, you know, ‘This may happen someday and it’s going to hurt.’ So, for me, love, in this book, is a little bit also transparency, like being able to be honest about your feelings and your fears with people and finding someone who can accept that and modeling it. So he doesn’t have that with his parents, so he tries to model it for his children, even though it’s hard.” Plus, don’t miss the advice he shared at the end before we wrapped up the session. Thanks so much to all those who joined us live during our conversation, and I hope the rest of you enjoy our discussion of Middle Spoon! The Queer Love Project is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to The Queer Love Project at queerloveproject.substack.com/subscribe (https://queerloveproject.substack.com...)