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[Intro] They speak my name across the stars, In tales of triumph, glory, scars. They carve my name in marble stone, For fights I prayed I'd face alone. They say I led with fearless grace— I only ran in the right place. [Verse 1] I ducked behind a broken tank, Jurgen smelled like death—and flank. I prayed the guardsmen wouldn’t see, That I was hiding, like I should be. The orks were loud, the lines were thin, I tripped and fell—and stumbled in. By sheer dumb luck, I hit the boss, They called it valor, not a loss. [Chorus 1] Ciaphas Cain! Hero bold! Steel and fury, heart of gold! He faced the horde and did not yield, Alone, he stood and held the field! [Verse 2] I planned to fake a wound and bail, But someone yelled, “We mustn’t fail!” Then came the Inquisitor’s glare— I drew my sword and said a prayer. I gave a speech, all pomp and bluff, They bought it—fools can’t smell this guff. Then Jurgen shot the daemon dead, They gave me medals. I saw red. [Chorus 2] Champion of the Imperium’s might! He brings the dark back into light! Through blood and fire, he leads the way, A saint with chainsword, come what may! [Shift] Hail, Commissar Cain! Hero of the Imperium! [Bridge] I’m not a martyr. I’m not a saint. I piss myself when things get faint. But heroes die and fools stand tall— And I’d prefer to outlive them all. [Final Chorus] Ciaphas Cain! The soldier's flame! A god among the men of name! The Emperor protects, they say— But I run faster. That's my way. ------ Art by https://www.deviantart.com/dizman Firefly Effect Stock Videos by Vecteezy - https://www.vecteezy.com/free-videos/... Fog Stock Videos by Vecteezy - https://www.vecteezy.com/free-videos/fog Like And Subscribe Stock Videos by Vecteezy - https://www.vecteezy.com/free-videos/... Music by Suno: https://suno.com/@bardicsymphony ⚔✨ The Emperor Protects (But I Run Faster) – A Ciaphas Cain Song ✨⚔ It all started years ago when a buddy dragged me into Warhammer 40k: Soulstorm and showed me how to play Imperial Guard. He slapped a Commissar next to my guardsmen and hit the "execute" button to buff the unit—my clueless brain had zero context. What the hell did that mechanic even mean back then? Fast forward: I burned through all the Warhammer 40k strategy games, then got curious enough to dive into Dark Heresy and Rogue Trader RPGs. That was the floodgate—novels, audiobooks, lore videos everywhere. And then I found the PancreasNoWork channel where he spotlighted Ciaphas Cain. I grabbed the first audiobook and was hooked. Years later, all those books aren’t just listened to… they’ve been CONSUMED. Slaanesh you devil! I love Commissar Cain. He’s a noble coward—survives by running, scheming, dodging doom, yet accidentally becomes a legend. Insecure, terrified, but he lives and thrives. A role model for anyone who’s ever been terrified but still shows up. Ciaphas Cain Fun Fact Despite his constant efforts to avoid danger, Cain somehow always ends up at the center of the action—often being hailed as a hero afterward. Ironically, this survival instinct and knack for self-preservation make him one of the most effective Imperial Guard commissars in history. His reputation as a “Hero of the Imperium” is built almost entirely on him trying not to die. If you got a kick out of this song or Cain’s delightfully damned irony, hit that LIKE button and SUBSCRIBE for more grimdark (and not-so-grim) tunes. ⚔ May your chainswords never jam—unless it’s on purpose. ⚔ #CiaphasCain #Warhammer40k #ImperialGuard #DarkComedyRock #40k #TheEmperorProtectsButIRunFaster #GrimdarkMusic #WM40kLore #EpicRockSong #CainSong