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A pair of fishnet stockings draped over a chair was the first sign something was terribly wrong. I had come home early to celebrate another successful real estate deal, only to find my wife Bryce preparing for a night out—not with me, but with a smooth-talking paper salesman from Chicago. "It's not really a date," she insisted while applying red lipstick that matched her freshly manicured nails. I played along, helping her choose accessories while anger burned inside me, until I discovered the contraceptives she'd hidden in her purse. "In what alternate dimension did you think I would tolerate this level of disrespect?" I demanded before sending her away.