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The Role of The Scapegoat in a Narcissistic Family

In a narcissistic family system there are fairly rigid roles for each member. The narcissistic parent (or the one with the most power, often financial, if they are both narcissistic) is the head and their word is law. The coparent may be an enabling co-dependent type. The children are placed into the roles of Scapegoat Child and its opposite counterpart the Golden Child. There can also be the role of the ignored or Lost Child. Roles tend to be reasonably stable over time although there can be times when the roles change (i.e., the scapegoat child leaves home, which leaves a vacancy, or a parent uses the scapegoat as a parentified confidant). The scapegoat child is seen as the problem in the family. They are told they are too sensitive, dramatic, attention seeking, mad, crazy, evil or stupid and the family narrative is that if it weren’t for them, everything would be fine. The scapegoat takes on board the negative feelings in the family and through this process, they are the glue that binds the rest of the family together, the scapegoat serves that role for the whole family, not only for the narcissistic parent. Anger at other family members can be taken out on the scapegoat, this is known as displaced anger. The Golden Child can be defined as a child who is idealised and is given praise, attention and resources. They are a mirror of the narcissistic parent’s idealised self. The roles of Golden Child, Lost Child and Scapegoat Child are roles which are forced onto the children by the narcissistic parent/s. People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder respond to others in a ‘split’ and compartmentalised way – people or situations are all good or all bad..... Link to article on my Website https://childrenofnarcissists.org.uk/... How Psychopaths select their victims    • How Psychopaths select their victims   My Counselling Website https://sarahgrahamcounselling.com/