Honest Conversations Ep22 Journey Of Unmasking Through Sobriety скачать в хорошем качестве

Honest Conversations Ep22 Journey Of Unmasking Through Sobriety

Hi Everyone Welcome back to my channel Today's vlog 👇 Honest Conversations Ep22 My Journey of Unmasking Through Sobriety Intro Today's episode, I share my personal journey of unmasking life with AuDHD (Autism + ADHD) through the lens of sobriety journey , many many years, I hid behind masking, perfectionism, and coping mechanisms that were more harmful than healing. And i want to share my experience & let myself be vulnerable & dig into old wounds & share what addiction is like for me ( also the ND side) Chapter 1 - The Mask I Wore I am what they call a master of masking & i did for so long , age of 13 if we being honest here. I was a people pleaser, no boundaries, taken advantage of. I had a double life though drinking & putting on an act & playing along, its how i managed to work & be that extrovert. But it wasn't me, but i kept it up to avoid disappointing people & at that time i was undiagnosed AuDHDer. Drink & drugs was my saving grace ( i thought). I was fitting in because that how society worked & NT world. I knew deep down i never fitted into societal norms. I was existing though alcohol , it dulled me & numbed me to the core. But i was slowly losing the authentic real me. Chapter 2 - The Day I Chose Sobriety Not to be dramatic but the 10th feb 2020 was a turning point, despite it being cv19 time. I realised alcohol was not going to numb me or my pain. It was now or never, the first few months were overwhelming & overstimulated. I had to erase the old me & have a new chapter & find my authentic self AuDHDer. I had to reflect & create boundaries & walk away from things i knew & even old friends ( fake ). If i was doing this. It would be 100%. When you get sober you put you first & your no1. I had to find me again. Without the drink & without the people pleaser. Beating myself up because i always thought there was something wrong with me. There wasn't & it was a journey i had to go on. Off were the wheels in motion Chapter 3 - AuDHD & Addictions I read many stories similar to mine , of how fitting in was either wirh drink or drugs & masking, even masking without the said addictions. I felt i had been seen, feelings i was not the only one who was AuDHD & with an addiction problem. At first i was ashamed & would never said outloud i was a high functioning alcoholic. But when i did & i said it more. I felt proud, because i knew i was healing & though Sobriety. I don't speak for anyone else ( not my story to tell). But it opened my eyes, i was loving & accepting me & finding the authentic kerri without a mask & addiction. I felt liberated. From that moment i took my sobriety as an acception & not to be ashamed. Sharing my milestones with the world, gave me even more reason to say , yes its hard & not easy. But the first step is saying im an alcoholic & im going to get better. Baby steps Chapter 4 - Living Authentically Unmasked Im not here to say everyone story is a smooth ride or linear its not. Everyday is a learning day of being unmasked, not shrinking myself for others. Or to over perform. Sobriety gave me back myself, & say its ok to stim ( vocal stim). It came with self love & self compassion. I have boundaries & say no. No longer a doormat & walk away from negative or toxic people & energys. I don't do perfectionism, i traded it for this me & rough around the edges. Im actually living as the authentic me today & it feels wonderful. No two days are the same. My Conversation today is not to be inspirational porn. As gran would say a problem shared is a problem halved. Thanks for watching , & if this has resonated with you or you like to share this video with anyone else who need it, please do , or even drop a comment below. Don't forget to Like,Subscribe, Comment Till the next one Kerri #honestconversations #addictionawareness #alcoholrecovery