My Husband Keeps Talking About Another Woman | Paul Friedman скачать в хорошем качестве

My Husband Keeps Talking About Another Woman | Paul Friedman

Does your husband keep talking about another woman? Watch Paul gives you advice and help with this problem. I'd also like to tell you that all of our systems are based on universal principles so it's not just an opinion that I have come to by way of talking to people, and I used to be a divorce mediator so I have spoken with a lot of people who have been going through rough times. And I've categorized the rough times because there's really two main levels you might say, where you need to enter into. One is you just don't know enough about marriage and so you're having some problems here and there. And then there's the other level where you are slipping towards divorce and generally, when people start slipping towards divorce it's pretty much on the way and something needs to be done that is more radical than just getting some information. And I've produced two books, Lessons for Happy Marriage and Breaking the Cycle, both of which are excellent books if your marriage is not slipping towards divorce. But for people who are having those problems, men need the course for men and women need the course for women so they can be pulled out of the trend that they're stuck in quickly and get things to turn around. So the reason I bring that up is because this particular issue is impossible for me to decide which solution you need, and only you know and you need to be very honest with yourself whether this is something that is, what's going on here? Why is my husband doing this? Doesn't he know it hurts me? What can I do? How can I combat this? Should I talk to him? Should I leave it alone? What should I do? There's that level and then there's the level of "I think that's not the only problem here. We're also fighting a lot. He's avoiding me. Things are not really working out. I'm always angry with him," and in that case, your marriage is slipping and you need to do something about it. So let's talk about what's going on and I could get in, I suppose into the obvious psychology of this the fact that he's talking to you about another woman. It's pretty hard to not say that he wants you to know that you are not fulfilling his needs as a marriage partner. And this is something that you can if you want to get defensive about but trust me that's not going to help. And the reason why it's not going to help is because then you're going to further the downward cycle that has begun or is already well on its way. No one wants to be confronted. Nobody wants to be challenged but sometimes men are afraid to say to their wife, "Honey, I'm not feeling that unconditional love that I thought I was going to have when I married you." I mean who wants to say that. What man in their right mind would say that to their wife? So they look for a passive-aggressive way to say it and rather than become defensive about it which is why he's afraid to bring it up in the first place, you need to step back and you need to ask yourself, "What's going on here? Am I giving him the life that I promised him that I would give him when we got married? Am I doing that?" And the mind is going to go, "Hey, he's not giving me that life either." That's defensiveness when the mind does that. That reactive stuff gets people into trouble. Both people get into trouble by being reactive. What is wise to do, what's the wise thing to do is you need to first say, What do I want? Do I want to have a better marriage or do I just want him to stop insulting me by talking about another woman?" Well hopefully, you want a better marriage. Hopefully, you want a better marriage because he wants to please you because he wants to be there for you. He wants to be your protector, your hero. He wants to love you with all his heart mind and soul but he's afraid right now. And so, he's dodging the reality of what will happen if he brings this up. That's in most likely what's happening so he's sending you a message and the message is as best as he can do. Don't be so critical of him for this. We don't learn communication in grade school or high school or anywhere else so he doesn't know how to communicate to you that he isn't getting what he needs. You need to come to that conclusion yourself and then you need to ask yourself, "Do I really want a better marriage? What can I do to enhance our marriage to have myself feel that love, that unconditional love?" Because it's missing for you too. If it's missing for him, it's also missing for you. And then a lot of people say, "Well, okay so don't we both have to do this?" And the answer, Thank God is no. One of you can work on the marriage and the other will fall in line and start working on the marriage naturally also. So because you're the one who has come looking for help, my suggestion is you be the one to restore the promises of marriage. What are the promises of marriage? Watch the video for more. #marriageproblems #communication #angermanagement #marriagewithoutdivorce #frustratedwoman #unhappywife