The Chewbacca Defense is Used in Court - SOUTH PARK скачать в хорошем качестве

The Chewbacca Defense is Used in Court - SOUTH PARK

The trial begins and Cochrane uses the Chewbacca Defense, a technique so advanced nobody understands it. Chef's found guilty. "Chef Aid" S02 Subscribe to South Park:    / @southpark   Watch more South Park:    / southpark   Watch full episodes of South Park: https://cart.mn/episodes Shop official South Park merch: https://cart.mn/shop #SouthPark #SouthParkS02 INT. CARTMAN’S HOUSE - DAY The boys are all sitting on Cartman’s couch watching TV ANGLE - TELEVISION A news reporter stands in front of the courthouse. NEWS REPORTER And so on this fifteenth day of what is considered to be the most important trial of the... day... Johnnie Cochran has appeared to defend Capitalist Records. The question now is... Will Cochran use his famous Chewbacca defense? ANGLE - BOYS CARTMAN What’s a Chewbacca defense? KYLE I don’t know. STAN That’s what Cochran used in the O.J. Simpson trial. CARTMAN God damn I hate that Cochran guy. If he was here in front of me I’d be like ‘AY! YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!! YOU -- I BET -- HOW’D YOU LIKE ME TO KICK YOU IN THE NUTS?!’ KYLE (Eating) I’m sure that would scare the hell out of him, Cartman. INT. COURTROOM - DAY Kyle’s dad is pacing back and forth in front of the jury. KYLE’S DAD And so, in summation, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. You’ve heard the version of my client’s song recorded over twenty years ago, you’ve heard the EXACT SAME song produced by these cheats in the past month. I’d say it’s pretty much an open and shut case. Make the right decision. Thank you. One jury guy claps. Kyle’s dad sits back down next to Chef. KYLE’S DAD We’ve got ‘em. Chef smiles. JUDGE Mr. Johnnie Cochran, your closing arguments? Cocharan gets up from his seat and starts pacing. JOHNNIE COCHRAN Ladies and gentlemen of the SUPPOSED jury... Chef’s attorney would certainly want you to believe that his client wrote “Stinky Britches” ten years ago. And they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself! The jury listens, intrigued. JOHNNIE COCHRAN (cont’d) But ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury... I have one final thing I want you to consider... Cochran pulls down a chart with a picture of Chewbacca. JOHNNIE COCHRAN (cont’d) Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is CHEWbacca. Chewbacca is a wookie from the planet Kashyyk. But Chewbacca LIVES on the planet ENDOR... Now think about that... That DOESN’T MAKE SENSE! The jury looks confused. KYLE’S DAD Dammit! CHEF What? KYLE’S DAD He’s using the Chewbacca defense! JOHNNIE COCHRAN (cont’d) Why would a Wookie, an EIGHT FOOT TALL Wookie want to live on endor with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks? THAT DOES not MAKE SENSE! A murmur goes through the jury. JOHNNIE COCHRAN (cont’d) But MORE importantly, you have to ask yourself ‘What does this have to do with this case’? NOTHING. Ladies and gentlemen it has NOTHING to do with this case. IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. Now Cochran paces in front of the jury. JOHNNIE COCHRAN (cont’d) Look at me, I’m a lawyer defending a major record company and I’m talking about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I AM NOT MAKING ANY SENSE! NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE. Now he pauses. JOHNNIE COCHRAN (cont’d) And so you have to remember, when you’re in that jury room deliberatin and conjugatin the emancipation proclamation -- Does it make sense? No. Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does NOT MAKE SENSE. If Chewbacca lives on Endor YOU MUST ACQUIT. The defense rests. Cochran returns to his seat. JUDGE O...kay then. INT. CARTMAN’S HOUSE - DAY The boys are still watching TV on the couch. CARTMAN Wow... he’s good. EXT. SOUTH PARK COURTHOUSE - DAY A newsreporter is standing on the courthouse steps with a microphone. On the TV we see images of artists renderings from the case. NEWS REPORTER In a teary eyed courtroom, Johnnie Cochran has just finished his closing arguments. And as was anticipated, he did use the Chewbacca defense. Whether or not it worked, is up to the jury to decide. INT. COURTROOM - DAY The judge is reading the verdict. The courtroom is silent. JUDGE How find you the jury. JURYGUY We find the defendant, Jerome Chef McElroy... GUILTY as charged. The people in the courtroom gasp. KYLE’S DAD Whoops. CHEF Whoops!? JUDGE Mr. Chef, you have been found guilty of Harassing a major record label. The full fee of $2 million will be handed over within 24 hours. CHEF Do I look like I have $2 million?! JUDGE Well, you have 24 hours to find it, or else you’ll have to go to jail... For 8 million YEARS!!! Dramatic MUSIC sting. Chef’s jaw drops. The foreman walks over and whispers in the judges ear. FOREMAN (Whispering) It’s actually for four years. JUDGE Oh, sorry. You’ll go to jail for 4 years. Chef plops down in his seat. CHEF This can’t be happening! INT. CARTMAN’S HOUSE - DAY The boys are all open mouthed on Cartman’s couch. STAN Oh no, dude. Chef’s gonna go to jail.