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In this episode of We Need To Talk we’re joined by Dr. Julie Smith, a clinical psychologist, best-selling author, and online educator known for making mental health tools accessible to millions. Dive deep into the realities of self-love, how to build secure relationships, and the hidden cost of always trying to "win" in arguments. Dr. Julie shares practical strategies to manage fear, navigate uncertainty, and transform anxiety into a source of strength. Dr Julie’s new book Open When: A Companion for Life’s Twists and Turns is available to buy now Open When on Amazon: https://g2ul0.app.link/nCGOymXTzQb Follow Dr Julie here: Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/td8IlXZTzQb TikTok - https://g2ul0.app.link/kaxaiI7TzQb Follow me here: / needtotalk / weneedtotalkpod 00:00 Intro 01:43 Dr. Julie's Upbringing 04:00 Is Shyness Genetic or Learned Behavior? 06:11 Dr. Julie's Relationship With Her Husband 10:08 Why Did Dr. Julie Specialize in Clinical Psychology? 13:02 Dr. Julie's Experience Working for the NHS 16:55 Dr. Julie's Move Onto Social Media 23:10 The Success of Dr. Julie's First Book 24:40 Dr. Julie's Experience Writing Her Second Book Open When 26:15 Dr. Julie's Cancer Diagnosis 31:41 Dr. Julie's Thoughts on the Popularity of the Term "Self-Love" 34:40 What Is Metacognition? 37:23 Dr. Julie's Definition of Self-Love 40:17 How Do We Correct Our Self-Destructive Thoughts? 43:55 Keep Love Ad 44:52 Tinder Ad 45:41 What Is Dr. Julie's Definition of Self-Esteem? 50:08 How Does Confidence Relate to Self-Esteem? 54:43 How Should We Handle Criticism in Terms of Our Self-Esteem? 58:52 Do Our Values Stay the Same or Change Over Time? 1:00:07 Demonstration of Values 1:06:33 Are We More Anxious Than Ever in Society? 1:10:31 How Do We Manage the Anxieties of Modern Society? 1:14:29 Dr. Julie's Thoughts on Today's "Self-Centered" Society 1:16:57 How Do You Know if You're Ready for a Relationship? 1:18:36 Why Do We Need Relationships With Others for Our Happiness? 1:21:31 Dr. Julie's Tips for a Successful Relationship 1:24:28 Dr. Julie's Definition of Attachment Styles 1:28:01 How to Determine Your Attachment Style 1:29:52 How to Make Your Attachment Style More Secure 1:31:09 Dr. Julie's Ethos on Conflict in Relationships 1:35:15 Most Memorable Conversation 1:39:59 Paul's Takeaways 1:42:05 Adobe Express Sponsored by: Get your tickets to 'An Evening with Paul C. Brunson' here: https://bit.ly/keeplove-megaphone Pre-order Keep Love here: https://lnk.to/keeplovebook Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB Adobe: https://www.adobe.com/uk/express/