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The polite invitation

LADIES, GENTLEMEN, AND DIPLOMATIC GHOSTS! PIECES OF PIX Does hereby reluctantly present for your questionable entertainment: THE GRAND GEOPOLITICAL MASQUERADE Welcome to the cabaret at the edge of the abyss! Tonight, the music is in 3/4 time, but the stakes are in human lives. We demand your applause, but we beg for your outrage. Tonight’s main attraction is a little musical number we call "The Polite Invitation." It’s a toe-tapper about the end of the world. Please consult your program for this evening’s staggering display of international hypocrisy: ACT I: THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAP Watch in amazement as sovereign territory vanishes before your very eyes! It’s not magic; it’s artillery! The management regrets to inform you that there are currently NO demands for the return of stolen property. We are too busy drawing new lines in pencil. ACT II: THE ELECTION ILLUSION A dazzling spectacle where the outcome is decided before the doors even open! Marvel at the "Tsar-for-Life" trick! Audience participation is forbidden. We ask for "fair and free," but we will settle for "quiet and predictable." ACT III: THE GREAT DISAPPEARING BILL Cities turned to dust mountains! Infrastructure shattered! Who pays for the cleanup? Shhh. It’s rude to talk about money when the destroyers are still sitting at the high table. THE FINALE: THE VANISHING CHILDREN This is not a trick. This is not funny. Thousands of children, taken into the dark. Prisoners lost in the system. While Europe scrambles to polish the brass on a sinking ship, the cages remain full. A NOTE FROM THE MANAGEMENT: Enjoy the waltz. Laugh at the clowns. But ask yourself, as the curtain falls: Why is everyone so very, very polite to the man burning down the theatre? (Please dispose of this flyer discreetly. Reality is bad for morale.)