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Wake up, Susan!! LYRICS: I don’t get paid enough To dress like a dick I don’t get paid enough for So fuck off with this shit. Susan, I’m fine But you must know the truth The ugliest part of your sweater…is you Susan, can’t you see it? The wool is pulled over your eyes! This sweater is not festive. It’s just a bunch of corporate lies! It’s not just a sweater, it’s a fabric of control! Have you lost all respect Have you sold your soul? OH! I don’t get paid enough To dress like a dick I don’t get paid enough for So fuck off with this shit. Susan, I’m fine But you must know the truth The ugliest part of your sweater…is you No, No, Look at me, Susan! Trust me, this isn’t about last year’s contest.When the boss made fun of my sweater.He said my sweater was low-effort. So for the next two weeks,I filled a dozen bottles with piss.I poured the bottles into his desk drawers.And when he finally opened one of the drawers,He passed out from the smell of my piss, Susan!He hit his head on the desk, falling to the ground. This had been on a Friday afternoon, Susan!So he was passed out in his office,covered in my piss for an entire weekend!DOES THAT SOUND LIKE LOW EFFORT, SUSAN!? SO, GROW UP, SUSAN!! WEAR YOUR UGLY SWEATER, SUSAN! YOU’RE BRAINWASHED, SUSAN! YOU’RE A SHEEP, SUSAN! YOU HAVE NO IDENTITY, SUSAN! OBEY YOUR MASTERS!, SUSAN! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME, SUSAN?! I don’t get paid enough To dress like a dick I don’t get paid enough for So fuck off with this shit. Susan, I’m fine But you must know the truth The ugliest part of your sweater…is you Written/composed by Glenn Robinson