SOS S5, E3: Anxiety's Impact on Trust скачать в хорошем качестве

SOS S5, E3: Anxiety's Impact on Trust

When Anxiety Meets Trust: A 12-Year-Old's Honest Take on Managing Worry and Connection I'm back with another profound conversation with my 12-year-old daughter, Gracie, diving into how anxiety impacts our ability to trust others and ourselves. What unfolded was a masterclass in emotional intelligence that left me taking notes! Anxiety vs. Intuition: The Million-Dollar Question One of the most important distinctions Gracie made was between anxiety and genuine intuition. When I asked how she tells the difference between her "spidey senses" warning about real danger versus just being anxious, her answer was brilliant. According to Gracie, intuition happens immediately. You walk into a room or meet someone, and you just know something's off. The feeling is instant and clear. Anxiety, on the other hand, takes time to develop. It's more mental—thinking "What do they think of me?" or getting caught up in worry spirals. It's the difference between a gut feeling and overthinking. Learning to differentiate between anxiety (our mind creating scary stories) and intuition (our body's wisdom keeping us safe) is a lifelong skill worth developing. The Catastrophic Thinking Trap When we talked about jumping to worst-case scenarios, Gracie's honesty was refreshing. This usually happens when she's stepped out of her comfort zone—like setting a new boundary. Her mind immediately goes to "What if they don't accept it? What if I have to destroy the entire friendship?" She also mentioned how someone's unkind comment can send her spiraling into "They hate me, they talk trash about me behind my back" territory, even though most people don't realize their behavior was hurtful. This is how anxiety writes scary stories about the future that usually don't come true and definitely haven't happened yet. Our worried minds are creative storytellers, but they're not always telling us the truth! What Actually Helps: Real Reassurance When I asked what kind of reassurance actually helps when she's anxious about trusting someone, she didn't ask for empty promises or constant validation. Instead, she values sincere apologies paired with genuine commitment: "I promise I won't do it again." But here's the key—the best reassurance isn't words at all. It's seeing that person in action and not repeating the hurtful behavior. "Actions speak louder than words," she reminded me. The combination of sincere words AND consistent actions is what rebuilds trust after it's been damaged. Trust Rituals: The Small Things That Matter Most When we talked about small habits that help Gracie feel secure in our relationship, her answers melted my heart. She mentioned how I'll send her a quick text during school asking "How's it going?" when she's dealing with drama, or how I knock on her door after school just to check in. These tiny moments of connection—these trust rituals—create something powerful: consistency creates safety. It's not grand gestures that build security; it's the reliable, small acts of caring that happen day after day. When Anxiety Takes Over Trust Perhaps the most vulnerable part was about anxiety spirals—those moments when worry becomes so overwhelming that it hijacks our ability to think clearly or trust others to help us. Gracie described situations with friend groups where her anxiety makes it hard to trust someone who's nice to her but is friends with people who might not like her. Her mind gets caught up trying to figure out social dynamics logically, but sometimes the spiral takes over. Her solution? She needs someone to "snap her out of it" and be present with supportive energy. Not trying to fix or explain away her feelings, but simply being there with her in the moment. The first step to managing these spirals is noticing and naming them. Often just recognizing "Oh, I'm spiraling right now" can create breathing room. A Gentle Reminder for All of Us If you struggle with anxiety affecting your relationships and ability to trust, please know you're not alone. Here are gentle reminders inspired by Gracie's wisdom: Listen to your body's immediate responses Notice when you're creating scary future stories versus dealing with present reality Value consistency over grand gestures in relationships Ask for specific reassurance that addresses your actual worries Remember that healing happens through both words and actions The beautiful thing about Gracie's perspective is that she doesn't see anxiety and trust as mutually exclusive. She acknowledges anxiety as part of her experience while still choosing to give people second chances, set boundaries when needed, and remain open to connection. Maybe that's the real wisdom—we don't have to eliminate anxiety to have trusting relationships. We just need to learn how to dance with both, understanding when anxiety is trying to protect us versus when it's creating problems that don't actually exist. Check us out ‪@RainbowofOptions‬ and mindfulness-center.com