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Why This Hurts So Much

This discussion delves into the emotional weight of feeling abandoned—a deeply impactful experience that’s not always rational but resonates as a sense of being utterly alone, unsupported, and uncared for. Jacobson highlights real instances of abandonment, such as children physically or emotionally deserted by parents, emphasizing its devastating effects. He explains why abandonment cuts so deep: human beings thrive on connection and attachment, as vital as oxygen. From the nine months in the womb—where a child is fully nurtured and validated—to early childhood, this need persists. When severed, as with parental loss or neglect, it leaves lasting scars, often manifesting as trust issues or eroded self-esteem. Adopted children, for instance, may feel this severance acutely. Jacobson challenges the notion of toughing it out, arguing that denying vulnerability (e.g., "I don’t need anyone") is often a defense mechanism born from hurt, not strength. True strength, he suggests, lies in acknowledging one’s need for connection and vulnerability, which fosters healthier relationships and self-worth. The episode pivots to solutions: abandonment doesn’t doom a person forever. Awareness is half the cure. Validation—whether from parents, friends, or oneself—rebuilds confidence. Jacobson uses the metaphor of nurturing a flower: criticism crushes a child’s spirit, while encouragement lets it blossom. He notes how children often blame themselves for parental failures (e.g., divorce), internalizing a sense of worthlessness that carries into adulthood, affecting relationships with constant testing of others’ care. For those feeling abandoned by God or the world, Jacobson offers a spiritual antidote: your very existence—your soul—proves your value. Birth itself is a cosmic affirmation that you matter, a worth not contingent on external validation. In a world bombarding us with messages of inadequacy (e.g., advertising), he urges viewers to look within, cultivate their unique "song," and surround themselves with people who uplift rather than diminish. Practical steps include engaging in confidence-building activities and seeking supportive connections, countering the isolation abandonment breeds. Fans of Jordan Peterson, Psych2Go, Practical Psychology, SciShow Psych, BrainCraft, Dr. Tracey Marks, Dr. Alok Kanojia, Dr. Ali Mattu, Dr. Kirk Honda, Hank Green, or Emma McAdam, you'll love this! ➡️Join the global war of goodness. Partner with us on the spiritual frontlines. https://www.meaningfullife.com/donate/ 🌐 Visit our War in Israel landing page: https://www.meaningfullife.com/catego... 💬 Join our Spiritual War WhatsApp group: https://chat.whatsapp.com/HDOy39voNDi... 💡Add light to the world! Do a Mitzvah for our Israeli brethren: https://www.meaningfullife.com/mitzva... Subscribe to the Meaningful Life Center YouTube Channel for more 🔔 https://www.youtube.com/meaningfullif... Let’s connect: 🌐Website - http://www.meaningfullife.com/ 📷 Instagram –   / meaningful.life.center   👍Facebook –   / meaningfullifecenter   💼LinkedIn –   / simonjacobson1   📧Email – [email protected] 💬WhatsApp – 718-774-6448 Rabbi Simon Jacobson is a pioneering speaker, educator and mentor to thousands. He is the Dean and Founder of The Meaningful Life Center, coined "The Spiritual Starbucks" by the New York Times, which bridges the secular and the spiritual. He is the author of the best-selling book Toward a Meaningful Life (💎 https://www.amazon.com/Toward-Meaning...) which has sold over 500,000 copies and been translated into 13 different languages. With his keen insight into the human condition, and over 35 years of experience, he has the unique ability to offer clarity and direction especially in difficult times. Rabbi Jacobson and the MLC have been lauded for creating non-stop programming nourishing people's hearts and souls. Please donate or sponsor a class, to help us continue and expand this life-affirming work 💓 https://www.meaningfullife.com/donate. #MeaningfulLifeCenter #AppliedKabbalah