A Masculine Fragrance that's Very British: Channel 4 (Granada) adverts, 17th December 1986 скачать в хорошем качестве

A Masculine Fragrance that's Very British: Channel 4 (Granada) adverts, 17th December 1986

The first break from Carmen is full of exciting gift ideas. Like this 19th Century-looking scenario with a lady in a carriage being greeted by a Hussar of some sort. For a second it looks like a Quality Street thing (bring back the Soldier and the Lady, Nestle's, you cowards) but it's actually for a smell so luxurious it needs the voice of Tom Baker at his most velvety to describe it. Royal Secret by Germaine Monteil. I wonder how many takes it took before Tom pronounced that properly. Kick-off with some of United's new superstars! We're going for the whole football angle even though it's at its absolute scummiest and worst-regarded point in this country! No, it's not for chocolate wafers, it's shoes! Buy some shoes! Shoes make perfectly good Christmas presents! High heels! Brog-yous! Winklepickers! Trainers! United Footwear in three (3) locations throughout Lancashire! At least give us credit for sustaining the metaphor! Alternatively, always believe in your soul. Gold is apparently the language of love, so buy some of that for your significant other from your local jewellers. Specifically Pykes of Scouseania. Here's a slinky-shouldered model pulling delighted expressions at you to illustrate how great it is. And if you're still not convinced it's classy as all hellfuck, Anthony Valentine provides his seal of approval. You've got the power to know. For more young (and, frankly, poor)-skewing gift ideas, come on down to John Menzies, which started out as a bookshop, evolved into a rival to WH Smiths, and is now a plane manufacturer somehow. But in the mid eighties it was still a Smiths-a-like, selling books, magazines and records. Like this hit compilation! Distinguishing itself from the then-young NOW series and its flood of imitators by being not just a compilation of the year's biggest and most licensable hits, but a non-stop megamix! Well, three stops, really, at least on the vinyl double album, but CDs are a thing too now, and besides, you get the idea. Featuring multiple appearances from Amazulu, Paul Hardcastle, Princess, Sam Fox, Colonel Abrams, Doctor and the Medics - they had two songs? - and Sinitta. Back to back, in her case. Look, they can't help how 1986 sounded. That's enough gifting. Have some coffee. Brooke Bond Red Mountain Coffee, specifically. After making less of an impression than they perhaps hoped with the launch of this first excursion into the bean-related market, Brooke Bond needed a hook, an identity for the damn stuff. Bespoke cowboys hadn't done it at launch, so time to aim for the bourgeois housewife who wants to impress the Joneses but can't be arsed grinding the beans herself. Freeze-dried to the rescue! Although one still has to keep up appearances, hence the array of mouth sounds. Thirty years later she could make a fortune doing coffee machine ASMR videos. Back to the gifts, and the smells specifically. Now, from Yardley, an aftershave so awesome we had to backlight it and put it on a pedestal. For men who go for GOLD. Ah. It's very cool and very fresh and manly and specifically British somehow (don't think too hard about that part) and intercut with stock footage of sporting achievement so you know it's sweaty and rugged and masculine. Now in two great cap colours! And finally, a British Airways thing. Part of that Saatchi and Saatchi campaign that used elaborate visual metaphors to promote the idea that it's "The World's Favourite Airline". Things like Manhattan in flight or planes taking off to Mars, using detailed model shots cleverly composited into live-action in ways that would be done in CGI these days but not quite look as impressive somehow. To be honest, this one seems like it was conceived from the visual trick down - "let's take major landmarks and break off bits of them and float them about the place" - before they decided what it would actually mean. Still works, just about.