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Funk in the Pipes

Funk, retro, Female vocals. A twist on the genre. The housewife tries to seduce the plumber, but he's just there to fix the sink. Lyrics: She’s leaning on the counter in a silk chiffon robe The lighting is low, she’s in full siren mode She calls out to the hallway, "Oh, the leak is getting worse!" While clutching at her pearls in a way that’s most perverse In walks the man with the heavy-duty belt The kind of rugged presence that makes a kitchen melt She gives a sultry wink and she drops a heavy hint "I’ve got a massive blockage, and I’m caught in a squint." She’s singing "Bow-chicka-wow-wow, come and fix my drain" She’s looking for some passion to ease the plumbing pain But he’s got his goggles on and he’s checking out the trap He says, "Ma’am, you’ve got a fracture in the PVC cap." She hitches up her hemline and she slides across the floor "It’s so hot in this darn kitchen, I can’t take it anymore! Why don't you take that jumpsuit off and stay a little while? I’ve got a 'pipe' upstairs that really suits your style.doesn't look up from the U-bend near her knee He says, "I'm seeing residue and high acidity. If you're going near the stairs, grab a wrench from my kit— The vibration in the floor means the bracket doesn't fit. She sighs, "Oh, Mr. Plumber, my foundation is so weak! I need a man of action to come and plug my leak!" She drapes herself across the sink, a vision in the light He says, "Move your elbow, please, this gasket’s fitting tight. You’ve got tremendous buildup from the hard water flow I’d recommend a softener, but that’s a different show." She’s singing Bow-chicka-wow-wow, lay me on the floor She’s never seen a man ignore an open bedroom door But he’s got his Teflon tape and he’s winding it with care He says, "The PSI is holding, there’s no longer any air." "Alright, that’s one new washer and a pressurized test. I’ve greased the shut-off valve, it was getting quite distressed. That’ll be eighty-five dollars, ma’am I take charge or cash.” She parts her robe, says “Maybe I can pay you with my stash?" "If it’s a stash of old galvanized pipes, ma’am, I’ll haul 'em to the scrap yard for a small fee." She’s standing in the doorway, defeated and confused While he’s whistling a tune, looking thoroughly amused His handiwork was perfect, it’s a job done right Says “Have a nice day, Ma’am!" as he steps into the night.