L N E M - # 3 (2.13.26) скачать в хорошем качестве

L N E M - # 3 (2.13.26)

Here’s another “Late-Night-Early-Morning” session…imperfect, as always, and pretty messy…on purpose. I think I often like experimenting with notes and/or sequences that don’t seem to align well or do t seem to lead to one another…and this was one of those nights for sure. Maybe 80-90% tonight was intentionally messy…and happily so. In the religious tradition / culture I grew up in…purity and “clean hearts” were always seemingly the goal and often discussed, prayed about over and over again, and it was constantly sprinkled throughout our worship songs, sermons, etc…you could never escape that you essentially couldn’t be pure enough…no matter how much you prayed, etc…or that’s how my brain received and processed that ongoing message. All of that to say, it’s taken YEARS for me after stepping away from now what I see (from a distance) as a really strange religious social context / power dynamic AND a regularly rehearsed pattern of a spiritual / emotional self harm of sorts. At this time period in my life…finally…at 42 years, I’m finally starting to get better at embracing the “messiness” and what I would used to label as “imperfections”. Or I am at least trying to embrace the unexpected, the mess, the chaos…as I learn and grow AWAY FROM the overwhelming feeling of failure of never being pure enough growing up…and being told that daily or weekly…almost as if to bring me down and lower my confidence so that Jesus could “rescue me” again and again and “make me clean” again and again or “create in me…a “clean heart” perpetuatually 🤣. Anyways…the piano may match thst sentiment…or may not. Not really sure. Thanks for being here snd thanks for listening!! John T