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Why 50/50 Marriages Don't Work

Forward Path with Melissa – Episode 2: Why 50-50 Marriages Don’t Work Episode Overview In this powerful episode, Melissa Gendreau challenges the cultural norm of “50-50” marriages and explains why they fall short of God’s beautiful design for marriage. Using 1 Corinthians 13:4–7 as the benchmark for true love, Melissa contrasts transactional, business-like marriages with a Christ-centered “100% spouse” model that focuses on daily loving and serving your spouse—no matter what. Key Takeaways: Lowered Expectations for Marriage 41% of first marriages and 60% of second marriages end in divorce. Many people grow up without a healthy example of marriage. Media often portrays spouses as rude, mocking, or treating each other like roommates or parent/child. “Marriage is Hard Work” vs. “Marriage is Intentional” “Hard work” implies tedium, exhaustion, and drudgery—none of which match God’s design. Reframe it: Marriage is intentional—choosing every day to live out your vows and love your best friend. Why People Are Really Getting Married Today Too often it’s selfish: “Someone will finally love me and fill my void.” When both spouses enter primarily to receive love (instead of give it), resentment explodes—especially after kids arrive. What is a 50-50 Marriage? Mine-vs-yours mentality: separate bank accounts, rigidly designated chores, separate bills, separate nights off, even separate vacations. Focus shifts from loving the person to completing the task or protecting “my” half. Leads to score-keeping, resentment, nagging, passive-aggression, bragging, rudeness, and eventually justifying bigger sins (lying, substances, affairs). 1 Corinthians 13:4–7 vs. the 50-50 Model Biblical Love (1 Cor 13:4–7) How 50-50 Marriages Often Violate It Patient & Kind: Lose patience when “your” chore isn’t done; focus on task, not the person Does not envy, boast, or be proud: Brag about “my” money, “my” chores, or out-gifting the kids Not rude, self-seeking, easily angered: Rudeness, passive-aggression, desire to “win” fights Keeps no record of wrongs: Holding onto tiny annoyances (toilet seat, snoring, leftovers) for years Does not delight in evil, rejoices in truth: Justifying lying, drinking, or affairs because “you made me do it” Always protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres: Protecting “mine” instead of protecting spouse and marriage The 100% Spouse Model (God’s Design) Each spouse gives 100% every day—focused on loving, serving, and putting the other first. Not reactionary (“I’ll love you if you love me first”). Even if both only manage 75%, the marriage still receives 150% effort. Creates safety, vulnerability, intimacy, and lasting growth. It Is Possible! You don’t need perfect circumstances or a perfect spouse. Start with your own heart: Choose today to love and serve your spouse like Christ loves the church. Quotable Moments “If marriage is just ‘hard work’—tedious, exhausting drudgery—why would anyone sign up for that?” “50-50 requires both people to be perfect to feel like 100%. 100% spouse model means even at 75% each, you’re still way ahead.” “God’s design was never for you to keep score. It was for you to keep loving.” Scripture Referenced 1 Corinthians 13:4–7 (ESV/NIV phrasing used throughout) Call to Action Hit Subscribe/Follow so you never miss an episode. Share this episode with one friend who needs to hear it. Join the Forward Path with Melissa Ultimate Forward Path Growth Bundle – courses, weekly live Q&A, daily faith/marriage/purpose prompts, private group, group coaching, and more → melissagendreau.com Connect with Melissa Instagram | Facebook | YouTube: @forwardpathwithmelissa Website: melissagendreau.com Email list for updates, workshops, and retreats Until next Monday—keep shining, keep growing, and keep moving forward God’s way! Chapters 00:00 Why 50/50 Marriages Don't Work 00:31 Intro 01:54 Lowered Expectation of Marriage 03:34 Hard Work vs Intentional 04:27 Current purpose for marriage 06:00 Defining 50/50 marriage 08:03 Contrast 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 12:02 It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud 13:51 It is not rude, It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. 15:58 It keeps no record of wrongs 17:51 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth 19:01 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres 19:18 The 100% Spouse Model 21:35 Outro