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Ladies, I respect my husband and honor his God-given leadership because I respect Jesus and want to completely submit myself to Him. My husband does not have to "earn" my respect. I respect him because it pleases God for me to respect him. I don't respect sin. But I respect my husband because he is my husband. My husband is to love me because I am his wife - even when I am unlovable. He doesn't love me because I deserve it - he loves me because God commands him to as a husband. Jesus counts the way I treat my husband as if I am doing these things for and to Him. The way I treat people has nothing to do with how they treat me, and everything to do with my relationship with Christ. There are times when the loving and respectful thing to do is to humbly, gently, lovingly and respectfully confront sin. I am not required to trust my husband if trust has been broken. But I can still act in love and respect by God's power, seeking to honor Him in how I behave. I love and respect my husband very deeply. The specific things I respect about him are all about his character, his abilities, his talents, and the good in him. The individual things that I respect about him ARE all about him. :) But whether I choose to respect him in general or not is about my character. I am also not saying that women should respect sin or "hate their husbands" at all. My desire is to teach wives what God has shown me - how to genuinely love and respect our husbands and to see the good in them in a way that honors God and most blesses our men. As we allow Christ to be in control, He can help us develop genuine respect for the good that is in our husbands. We don't have to fake it. But we do need God's Spirit to be able to do this. :)