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Worst of the Wuther

A song that seeks to answer the question, "Who's the worst character in Wuthering Heights?" Featuring the vocal talents of Chloe Hein as Catherine, Michael "Balthazar" Tomes as Heathcliff, and Ava Thomas as Kate Bush Lyrics: Catherine I’m an Earnshaw–can’t make my heart thaw Unless you're Heathcliff ‘cause he’s a heartthrob But if your name is Edgar then I dig you–psyche, y’all. The only thing I’m really digging is his gold, ha! And of course I’m digging my own grave to spite you. You dig me when I am alive and when I’m dead, too How many times you gonna dig my grave up? One? Two? Why you so obsessed with me? It’s sad, boo I’m not your side chick. I’m your ride or die chick. I’m a haunt you ‘til you die and make you cry, chick You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone up in the sky, chick, But heaven threw me back after I died chick I’m just a feral, fickle, fiendish gal who’s out to get what’s hers, and shall. And if you're in my way, well, pal, I'm gonna go supernatural Hey, Lockwood. Did you sleep good? Here's a joke: "Knock, Knock" You feelin' scared? You should Think you’re a man? Ha ha! Now there’s a joke–good. You’re so sensitive and feeling and so misunderstood And I think you think you have a chance with Cathy. You’re so delusional it’s sad, but still I laugh-y Cathy’s only into cousin-love. Guess you can’t see We like to keep it in the family tree–incesty. Heathcliff, it’s me, I’m Cathy, I’ve come home, I’m so cold Let me in into your window Heathcliff You say you’re cold, but I’m the coldest. Your brother died. Now I control this I got the Grange. I got the Heights; I got your nephew and your cousin and you daughter and despite What people do, or what they say, Or how they try to stop me, I’m gonna get my way Hindley wants that horse, but nay. You died? Gonna dig up your cold grave. I lied: Isabella's not my dame. You tried, but you came up short today Because I’m Heathcliff. I’m not nice. You cross me once, you pay the price So cross yourself. Say your prayers twice. I hold a grudge, and I don’t budge, so let me give some free advice: Just don't forget that I'm the boss. You run your mouth and you’re gonna get some applesauce Wuthering and all Thrushcross–they’re mine; Hindley gambled and he lost; In time, I will crush you like you’re dross or swine; I’m a nightmare. Turn and toss Don’t stop, get it, get it! Got your house when Linton bit it Hareton is illiterate. I spit straight fire–you’re just outwitted What's that you said, Old Joe, in your cockney or your mangled brogue? I know you think I'm trash. Even so . . . At least my trash is intelligible Catherine Lest we forget too soon: you're a lover boy and I made you swoon You howled just like a wolf at the moon with grief when I died, you love sick goon It's clear you're a wannabe. Go bash your head against a tree Isabella will never be me. My daughter's right: you'll die lonely. Heathcliff “Whatever souls are made of his and mine are the same” I’ll quote you when you gloat. You’re not cutthroat–you’re kinda lame You married Edgar. Man, that’s not a man–that’s a name The Linton lad got sick and sad and gave up the game Catherine Did you just say that I was lame? What’s lamer than revenge? You’re tame Predictable and all the same. Go cry outside your window frame Go stare into a candle flame And rue the day that daddy came And took you from your gypsy shame And tried to love you, all in vain Heathcliff I’m the worst Catherine I’m the worst Heathcliff I’m the worst Catherine I’m the worst Heathcliff I’m the worst Catherine I’m the worst Heathcliff and Catherine I’m the worst