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Wouldn't it be great if we knew when and how we parents and teachers can make a massive long-term difference by doing something relatively small? What if we could catch those moments that might set off either an upward or downward spiral, and help our kids find the best path? Well, that's what this episode is all about. Dr Gregory Walton has been described as 'one of psychology's greatest architects of how to change behaviour for good', and 'one of the most important psychologists in a generation'. He is co-director of Harvard's Dweck-Walton lab and coined the term 'Wise interventions'; things we can do or say that hit the spot just at the point when another person is asking one of life's fundamental questions. His new book is called, Ordinary Magic. It's all about the science of how we can achieve big change with small acts. These are things that go much further than the small nudges that help people to make better choices. This is the sort of deep magic that can last a lifetime. Contact Dr Greg Walton: https://www.gregorywalton.com/ CORE QUESTIONS: • Can I do it? • Do I belong? • Am I enough? • Who am I? • Do you love me? • Can I trust you? KEY POINTS AT WHICH CORE QUESTIONS TEND TO CROP UP: TIF's • Transitions • Identity • Challenges THE PRINCIPLES FOR THINKING THROUGH 'BAD' EVENTS: 1. Avoid negative labels (I'm not bad) 2. You're not the only one; you're never the only one. (It's normal) 3. Recognise causes that don't malign you or others (I/you face real obstacles) 4. Forecast improvement (It can get better) 5. Recognise opportunities (Silver lining) Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/teenager...) Thank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is [email protected] My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us: www.teenagersuntangled.com Instagram: / teenagersuntangled Facebook: / teenagersuntangled Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog: www.amindful-life.co.uk 00:00 Introduction 02:43 Transitions and Belonging Experiences of feeling out of place The concept of "tiff bits" and small events triggering larger doubts 06:35 Surfacing Doubts and Wise Interventions 15:05 The Role of Teachers and Mentors 25:50 Motivation and Purpose 27:27 Wise Feedback and Trust 41:49 The Purpose of School and Building Self-Esteem