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What the healthcare system doesn't tell mothers and what you can do to protect yourself and your child from medical trauma. Shelley Freeman is a certified EMDR therapist who's spent 20 years helping mothers heal from medical trauma. In this raw, honest interview, we discuss what really happens when a child goes through surgery—to both the child AND the mother—and why the healthcare system is failing both. THE PROBLEM: When your child goes to the hospital for surgery, doctors focus on physical recovery. But what about the psychological impact? What about YOUR trauma watching your child in pain? The system doesn't prepare mothers for medical trauma—and the silence is devastating. What we cover: → Why your stress in hospital changes your child's brain (and what children compute when they see you struggling) → The simple breathing tool that helps both mother and child regulate in real-time → Why standard talk therapy fails after medical trauma (and what works instead) → What EMDR actually does and why it works when talk therapy doesn't → The historical "hysterical woman" narrative and why it keeps mothers silent → How medical dismissal (being told "your child is fine" when you KNOW they're not) traumatises mothers for years → The biological conflict mothers face: your nervous system screams "run" while your heart says "stay with my child" This interview will help you: ✅ Understand why your child might be masking their pain to protect YOU ✅ Learn how to regulate your nervous system during hospital stays (exhale longer than inhale) ✅ Find the right trauma therapist (medical trauma-trained, not just any therapist) ✅ Know it's not your fault when things go wrong ✅ Recognise the signs of medical trauma in yourself and your child ✅ Understand why repair is always possible—it's never too late If you're a mother whose child has been through surgery, or you're still processing your own trauma- you need this conversation. 👉 SUBSCRIBE for more interviews breaking the silence around medical trauma. CONNECT WITH ME: https://scarredandfabulous.com/ CONNECT WITH SHELLEY FREEMAN: @shelleyfreemantherapy / / emdrformoms TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Introduction: Why hospitals fail mothers and children 01:33 What is EMDR therapy and how it's different from talk therapy 07:05 Kim's Story: How my mother's hospital stress shaped our relationship for decades 08:03 What children secretly compute: "If I'm not OK, she's not OK" 10:17 The Breathing Tool: Simple regulation technique for mothers and children in hospital 12:20 The Biology: What happens in a mother's nervous system when her child is in pain 14:27 My Mum's Biggest Regret: The moment she wishes she could take back 17:37 Why mothers are told to "keep it all together" (and why that's destroying families) 19:20 The "Hysterical Woman" Narrative: Where it came from and why it keeps mothers silent 21:33 How to Find a Medical Trauma-Trained Therapist (not just any therapist) 23:00 Medical Dismissal: My story of being told I was "just being silly" for 4 years 25:12 How medical dismissal traumatised the family unit 30:00 Why Women Are 2x More Likely to Develop PTSD From Surgery 36:09 Shelley's Final Message: It's not your fault, repair is always possible HASHTAGS: #medicaltrauma #emdrtherapy #childhoodsurgery #maternaltrauma #hospitalparenting #traumahealing #motherhood #ptsdrecovery #pediatricsurgery #traumatherapy #medicalptsd #surgeryrecovery