When Do Friends With Benefits Become A Mistake? | Facebook Walk With Reid скачать в хорошем качестве

When Do Friends With Benefits Become A Mistake? | Facebook Walk With Reid

Hello Facebook it is Reid Mihalko from http://reidaboutsex.com and I am at the amazing soon-to-be sunset opened Airport. I am traveling today to San Diego and tomorrow I head out to intimacy fest creation of Dave Booda and Paola and this is the third year I want to say and I'm excited about that that starts tomorrow night and I'm gonna be out there for a couple days but I'm pretty sure we've got Wi-Fi and cell phone signal in the deserts. There's also this beautiful cool Oasis so I will be trying to do the Facebook live from the pool. I might lose my phone and destroy it but it'll be fun and I want, I can't wait to show you the pool it's so amazing. So first let me know, can you hear me? If you get hit some emoticons or leave a comment and let me know that you can hear me. I can't tell if I'm using this microphone or the microphone on the pho, phone. And I want to talk today about friends with benefits and when friends of benefits might be a mistake. And the reason I want to talk about this is I would I did a podcast for a podcast yesterday with Amy and Kim. And gosh darn it I'm forgetting Podcast name now I should know this. But we recorded it and we ended up talking about casual sex and you know like healthy relationships and the problems you know what happens when people take their casual sex too casually and, and how you know shame and not having a lot of practice with taking casual things seriously. How that can lead to a lot of drama and upset and where people you know people either get emotionally entangled because they just don't know how they fall in love well or what they're imprinting or triggering mechanisms are for emotional attachment. And, and then also like how shame and feeling, feeling like we're not supposed to be talking about sex or emotional attachment openly because to talk about it means that would be clingy or were you know high-maintenance because we have to process. How you basically people are trying to navigate these complex social situations and remain cas, casual by not talking about it at all. And we got this really great discussion and kind of went all over the place with a lot of different you know sharing ideas and information and getting really geeky about how do you have healthy casual relationships? And one of the things that we talked about a little bit but, but didn't talk about at that which I will kinda geek out with you today on is, is the ideas like you know when is trying to have friends with benefits relationship a bad idea. Like when is it actually a mistake? And [Inaudible 00:03:58-59] do their thing, announcement, airplane announcement. Greg, Greg you gotta find your party here Greg. They’re looking for you at the airport my friend. Gate 26 my friend. So you know the ideas of like how do you know when a friends of benefit relationship is a bad idea. Like what are the signs? And you know, how do you [Inaudible 00:03:34] like how do you know when it's a good idea? Like how do you know when it's healthy and thriving. And one of the things I'm gonna say is a good indicator is if there is “ease” you know put air quotes around it. I'm gonna say ease around the relationship and if you're actually like you know saying that you're having a relationship because it's still you know it's friends with benefits and it doesn't mean you're you know buying houses together and sharing 401k that you actually acknowledge that you're having some sort of connection, I’m gonna seat here on, on a rug, if you recognize that you're having some sort of connection some sort of relationship even if it's casual, can you talk about it? And is there a lot of drama and upset and then that's your indication that something’s off doesn't mean that relationships gonna work from time to time. It’s kind of like when you're driving a car up a hill it's really normal for the engine to work harder. That extra effort is supposed to happen it's just kind of normal versus driving a car around town parking brake on and there's all this extra effort that doesn't need to be there. But if you grew up in relationship situations or adults modeling relationships where there was a lot of struggle, where there's a lot of friction, where the emotional parking brake was on. And the problem is it's really hard to tell when it's effort, you know from driving up a hill, you know somebody's sick or you know somebody just lost their job or you start a relationship with somebody who's grieving a previous relationship or you know whatever is going on. You know there's that extra effort because there's just more work in the relationship because people are going through stuff versus that friction and effort that, that's coming from something you know really being wrong. And if you grew up in a family or around relationships where the parking [Inaudible 00:06:47] are always on, it's really hard to tell because we just think relationships and love are about struggle and because