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beja - passages

a passage is a short part of a book, like a paragraph or a few pages. That's what I feel like these are: little snippets of whatever I was on at the time. A lot of time I feel like “why am i doing this?” "why do I do anything?" I should just be quiet, and thank god I’m alive and relish that feeling until I have to get up and move to go to work or feed myself or whatever we have to do as people. But I just can’t stop this, maybe take a break but eventually I'll start again. Sometimes the only thing that made me feel better was listening to hip-hop, and feeling like I wasn’t alone and that there is a 'source', a glowing ball in the sky that I could reach out to when I needed connection. It would be bad manners to take and never return. I love rap music. It loves me. illadvised.co