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When I first played Mass Effect 2 I remember both being very entertained by Mordin's singing and at the same time thinking "I could do better." And now, several years later, I finally got around to doing something about it. I wrote the pastiche, my boyfriend sung it, and since neither of us can imitate Mordin's voice we decided not to try (though if anyone wants to give it a try, I'd be interested to hear it!). Full lyrics for the scene I imagine in my head: SHEPARD Hold, reapers! Ere your AI indoctrination proceed against our will to control us, you have made a grave miscalculation, for our doctor is Mordin Solus! HARBINGER We'd better pause, for fear that they may hole us, their doctor is Mordin Solus! TEAM Yes yes he is Mordin Solus! MORDIN Yes yes I am Mordin Solus! ... REAPER CHORUS For he is Professor Solus! TEAM He is! Hurrah for Professor Solus! MORDIN And it is, it is a GLORIOUS thing to be Professor Solus. TEAM It is! Hurrah for Professor Solus, hurrah for Professor Solus! [intro instrumental] MORDIN I am the very model of a scientist salarian I've studied species turian, asari and batarian I've published papers on the volus though their suits got in the way the quarians are similar but they have different DNA. I've experimented, simulated, calculated all my life My lab is very organised, I'm careful where I put my knife And I've attended seminars, some speeches and symposiums... [he is bothered for a rhyme] ...and given many lectures too, while standing at the podiums! TEAM And given many lectures too while standing at the podiums! And given many lectures too while standing at the podiums! And given many lectures too while standing at the podi-podiums! MORDIN I've worked in many fields from genetics to neurology I practice medicine as well as dabble in pathology My data are extensive and I am my own librarian I am the very model of a scientist salarian! TEAM His data are extensive and he is his own librarian he is the very model of a scientist salarian! MORDIN I always strive to justify my work and be methodical I study ev'ry subject not just strictly biological I've travelled far and wide to gather data for analysis and understand the difference 'twixt the partial and co-agonists. I spend my time most ev'ry day disproving null hypotheses I burn and freeze the flesh of foes with comfortable expertise In fact I would consider I am something of a polymath... [he's bothered for a rhyme again] And since I am quite aged I'm an opsimathic philomath! TEAM And since he is quite aged he's an opsimathic philomath! And since he is quite aged he's an opsimathic philomath! And since he is quite aged he's an opsimathic philo-philomath! MORDIN My mission is to lend a hand through means that may be medical I always strive to hold myself to standards that are ethical I don't believe in privilege I am egalitarian I am the very model of a scientist salarian! TEAM He won't believe in privilege he is egalitarian he is the very model of a scientist salarian! MORDIN I have extensive knowledge of your intimate anatomy. My study of your culture saw me master social strategy. Indeed I am an anthropologist and quite the apogee. And since I am unbiased I cannot be bribed with flattery. When I can diagnose diseases from a simple smear of pus. When I can separate the bony fish from cartilaginous. When I can find in record time protection from paralysis... [Reapers chortle] And thus remove a weapon held by insectine antagonists! TEAM And thus remove a weapon held by insectine antagonists! And thus remove a weapon held by insectine antagonists! And thus remove a weapon held by insectine antagon-agonists! MORDIN I do my best to keep abreast of progress technological my specialty in science is the astrobiological My xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian I am the very model of a scientist salarian! TEAM His xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian he is the very model of a scientist salarian!