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Wrong Kind of Angel

An original song by Avud. I hope you enjoy and keep those dear, close to your heart always. lyrics Fluorescent buzz Plastic chairs You cracked a joke Like you owned the air Paper cups For shaking hands We played card games Til they changed the plan You said "They call it broken" I said "Guess that makes us art" You stole a pen Drew lightning on my scars Said "Here Now you’re marked" You were the wrong kind of angel for this place Laughing in the dark Cursing at the guards You held my wrists when I tried to disappear Said "Stay You stubborn heart" "You don’t get to fall apart" You were the greatest friend I never got to keep And I keep losing you In the corners of my sleep Group room circle Counting breaths You rolled your eyes At the word "progress" Stared down nurses Til they laughed You’d take their questions Turn them back We traded files like secrets Diagnoses like fake names You said "They’ll call this childhood" I said "Feels more like a cage" You grinned "We’ll burn the page" You were the wrong kind of angel for this place Laughing in the dark Cursing at the guards You held my wrists when I tried to disappear Said "Stay You stubborn heart" "You don’t get to fall apart" You were the greatest friend I never got to keep And I keep losing you In the corners of my sleep Some days your face is sharp as glass Your hoodie Your hospital socks We’re racing wheelchairs down the hall Dodging clipboards Locked doors Clocks Some days you’re just A laugh with no mouth A shadow at my side I call your name It comes out dust Like I dreamed you Like I lied They called my house One quiet noon Said your heart Had left too soon It’s just a sentence But it split my spine I smashed your drawing Then traced every line Now every time I crumble I still hear your wicked dare "You can haunt this world You know Or you can fight it Wreck it Wear Your damage like a flare" You were the wrong kind of angel for this place Laughing in the dark Cursing at the guards You held my wrists when I tried to disappear Said "Stay You stubborn heart" "You don’t get to fall apart" You were the greatest friend I never got to keep And I keep losing you In the corners of my sleep But when the floor gives way And the old thoughts roar I feel your hand on my shoulder In that same white ward You were the wrong kind of angel And I’m still here So I carry your chaos Through every year (oh) I carry your chaos I keep you near