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This week at Camp Shady Birch, we’re unwrapping the worst part of the holidays: truly unhinged gift guides and the chaos of simply being alive in December! Counselor Zachariah kicks things off with a parking violation saga for the ages after he found a bright orange sticker slapped on his perfectly legal parked car and immediately took to the internet to publicly drag the culprit. Festive! Counselor Jonathan dives into the wild story of a magician who implanted an RFID chip in his hand for magic tricks and then forgot the password to his own hand. It's giving tech anxiety. Also, a new study about how urban raccoons are literally evolving shorter snouts and showing early signs of domestication just from living in our cities and eating our garbage. We love new housemates!! They should pay rent lol! We've got the annual curse of dry cracked knuckles, terrible holiday gift guides, undying love for gingerbread men and why they’ve finally (rightfully!!) become the face of the holiday season this year, and so much more! 🏕️Watch More Camp Counselors🏕️ ➜ Movie Audition Fails, and Disney Channel Nostalgia: • Uh-Oh! Zachariah Can't Act! | Camp Counsel... ➜ Teacher Arrested for Fart Spray: • The Unsinkable Geoffrey Giraffe | Camp Cou... ➜ Parents Meet for the First Time: • The Social Experiment we call LIFE | Camp ... 🛶 CAMP SONGS 🛶 Camp Songs Youtube Playlist: • Camp Songs 🦅Support + Extras🦅 Looking for today’s sponsors, Zachariah’s live tour tickets, or our bonus Patreon episodes? Find it all here: https://www.campcounselorspodcast.com... Submit your stories for Trail Mix and listen to Camp Counselors wherever you get your podcasts! ⏱️Timestamps⏱️ 0:00 - Hey Happy Campers 0:30 - Parking Violation Meltdown 14:40 - Aura Frames 15:52 - Cash App 16:59 - Magician Locked Out of His Own Hand Chip 23:58 - Urban Raccoons Are Evolving in Cities 33:35 - IM8 35:06 - Apretude / Viivhealthcare 36:16 - Winter Dry Knuckles Struggle 39:26 - Terrible Holiday Gift Guide Rant 44:17 - Gingerbread Men Are the Moment 47:39 - Christmas Ornament Traditions 51:32 - MeUndies 52:43 - Progressive Insurance 53:20 - Concert Pitch by Empire of the Sun 56:51 - Dip It Low by Christina Milian This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts. 📝 Works Cited 📝 ➜ Pring, Joe. “Magician ‘Forgot the Password’ to His Own Hand after Locking Himself Out of Implanted RFID Chip.” Dexerto, 22 Nov. 2025. ➜ Hill, Marta. “Urban Raccoons Are Showing Signs of Early Domestication, With Shorter Snouts Than Their Rural Cousins.” Smithsonian Magazine, 21 Nov. 2025. Keywords terrible gift guides, bad gift ideas, holiday gift guide, funny holiday podcast, comedy podcast, Camp Counselors Podcast, Camp Shady Birch, Zachariah Porter, Jonathan Carson, RFID chip in hand, magician forgets password, cyberpunk magician, urban raccoons domestication, raccoons shorter snouts, dry hands winter, dry knuckles, gingerbread men, Christmas ornaments tradition, parking violation rant, queer comedy podcast, millennial podcast, holiday rant podcast