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The Hidden Thing That Kills Your Confidence

The Hidden Thing That Kills Your Confidence In this episode, I sit down with confidence coach Gayle Tong to unpack the hidden thing that quietly destroys your confidence, and how to fix it fast. We explore the stories you tell yourself, how past experiences shape your beliefs, and why confidence isn’t something you “have”… it’s something you create. If you’ve ever felt stuck, doubted yourself, or struggled to speak up, this conversation will change the way you think about confidence forever. (This episode was released on the confidence conversations podcast with Gayle Tong) Confidence isn’t about being loud, bold or fearless, it’s about managing your state, rewriting old stories, and choosing how you show up. In this powerful conversation with Confidence Conversations host Gayle Tong, we dive into: The hidden belief patterns that undermine your confidence Why nerves and excitement feel the same (and how to use that) The stories your brain tells you — and how to rewrite them Why men and women often experience confidence differently Limiting beliefs formed years ago that still control adults today Why 40-minute presentations don’t have to feel terrifying The simple shift that moves you into flow state How retail (and tough customers!) unexpectedly builds resilience Practical ways to speak up, be heard, and communicate with impact The Circle of Awesomeness: an instant state-change technique How to stop letting past experiences shape your present identity This episode is packed with real-life stories, humour, psychology, and practical tools you can start using immediately. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 – Intro 00:40 – What confidence really is 02:00 – Flow state vs fear state 05:30 – The Bruce Springsteen story (nerves vs excitement) 07:40 – Why stories shape your confidence 09:10 – The Socrates story 12:20 – How past experiences shape self-belief 15:00 – The 4,000 weeks perspective shift 18:10 – Retail, resilience & unexpected confidence builders 22:00 – The real difference between men and women in confidence 29:00 – How to start speaking up in rooms that intimidate you 33:00 – The power of storytelling in presentations 38:00 – Why your voice matters more than you realise 44:00 – The Circle of Awesomeness (state change technique) 49:00 – Practical confidence tips you can use today Key Learnings Your confidence is shaped by the stories you tell yourself, not your ability. You can choose your state — nerves and excitement feel identical. Changing your internal narrative changes your external confidence. Flow state is a skill, not a personality trait. You’re one decision, one reframe, one action away from feeling more confident. Confidence grows with practice, exposure, curiosity and compassion. Connect with Gayle at https://www.enrichmentcoaching.co.uk/ 🍿 WATCH NEXT You get what you focus on...    • The Socrates Rule to Master Your Mind   🔔 Subscribe here / @rickylockeunlocked 💌 Sign up to my free weekly email newsletter - https://preview.mailerlite.io/preview... 🐦 MY OTHER SOCIALS Instagram / /   / rickylockemagic   LinkedIn / / /   / ricky-locke   Find out more about Ricky's work as a Jack Canfield Success Principles Trainer at https://www.rickylocke.com 👋 WHO AM I? Enter the world of Ricky, "The Magical Mindset Speaker," a man whose career is as vibrant and captivating as his personality. He’s a professional Speaker, Confidence Coach, NLP Practitioner, award-winning Magician & host of The UNLOCKED podcast. From the bustling aisles of the UK's biggest retailers to the enchanting magic circle, Ricky's journey is nothing short of extraordinary. With an extensive background in retail leadership, colleague development & training, over the last 20 years, as well as running multiple businesses, he's been on the front line in one of the uk's biggest retailers; performing, serving, studying and putting to practice a simple formula on how to unlock the best version of ourselves to achieve extraordinary results! His podcast "UNLOCKED" resonates with thousands all over the world and as one of the coaches of The Confident Club, a certified Jack Canfield Success Principles Trainer and a recognised NLP Practitioner, Ricky's life changed course with the art of magic, leading him to establish a journey to inspire others to become a better version of themselves. He now wants to help inspire others to unlock their full potential and live extraordinary lives! Speaker Topics Confidence, Resilience, Motivation & Inspiration, Leadership, Entertainment, Virtual & Online #Confidence #ConfidenceTips #BuildConfidence #MindsetMatters #PersonalDevelopment #SelfBelief #OvercomeFear #MotivationDaily #Resilience #GrowthMindset #CommunicationSkills #UnlockYourPotential