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The Man I'm Trying To Be

owned and licensed by me, under Urso Records lyrics: [VERSE 1] Born in a double-wide hellhole, truth twisted tight, Nights full of sirens, blood runnin' wild. Family curse heavy like chains on my wrists, Swore on my mama, "This poison stops here tonight." They chased the quick money, I chased the clean air, Learnt goodness ain't given—it's a fight you declare. [HOOK] I ain't the devil they raised up in me, Still scrappin' that darkness every damn day I breathe. Scars on my knuckles from fighting to see, Jason Budman—the man I'm tryin' to be. Some nights I win, some nights whiskey beats me, But I'm still swingin', reachin' for the man I'm tryin' to be. [VERSE 2] The Sheriff pulled me outta that desert sand, Said, "Son, your yesterday don't own where you stand." No questions 'bout the name, no judgment on sin, Just handed me a badge—said, "Prove you can win." Stood tall in the cruiser, felt fate finally smile, Dreamt we cleaned up the county, mile after mile. [HOOK] I ain't the devil they raised up in me, Still scrappin' that darkness every damn day I breathe. Scars on my knuckles from fighting to see, Jason Budman—the man I'm tryin' to be. Some nights I win, some nights whiskey beats me, But I'm still swingin', reachin' for the man I'm tryin' to be. [VERSE 3] Then the Sheriff disappeared, left the badge cold and bent, County cracked open, and I cracked with it. Headed south to the city lights, neon burnin' my eyes, Bottle became my preacher, tellin' sweet lies. They stripped my shield, said I crossed the line, Walked out broken, but that fire still climbs. [BRIDGE] Livin' on the edge now, shadows closin' in, Heart half-burned, but the spark won't give in. That voice in the mirror still growls through the haze: "This curse ends with me—no more graves." [FINAL HOOK – build with harmonies/backing vocals, let it swell] I ain't the devil they raised up in me, Still scrappin' that darkness every damn day I breathe. Lost the badge, lost the straight road, but I ain't lost the fight, Jason Budman—the man I'm tryin' to be. Scars on my knuckles from fighting to see, Some nights I win, some nights whiskey beats me, But when the call comes knockin', when the road runs clear, I'll stand tall again as the man I'm tryin' to be... Yeah, the man I'm tryin' to be.