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This Is Real For Me

This song is for anyone who’s been told to “just choose happiness” while fighting battles nobody sees. It’s for the ones who lie awake when the house goes quiet and the past gets loud. The ones who smile in public but check exits in crowded rooms. The ones who are exhausted from being called “strong.” This isn’t aesthetic healing. It’s not highlight reels or motivational quotes. It’s the bloopers from the process. In a world that wants “good vibes only,” this track pushes back against toxic positivity and the pressure to filter your scars. It speaks on PTSD, anxiety, intrusive memories, and the frustration of being told to “manifest the sun” when you’re just trying to breathe. Lyrics: (Intro – Spoken): Yeah… Let’s clear something up real quick. Apparently if you talk about trauma, you’re “killing the vibe.” My bad... Maybe I'll moonwalk through the flashbacks? Hit a quick spin every time I mention anxiety? Or I could add a beat drop right after the panic attack? ha I think sometimes people confuse what I’m doing. I write about life. Things I’m actually dealing with. This is real for me. God gave me a gift—and He gave me this as an outlet. When I feel anger, passion, frustration… This is where I go. This is therapy for me. But yeah, sure—let me just “choose happiness,” right? Verse 1: They say, “Why you always talk about the past?” ‘Cause the past don’t stay there, it comes back fast In the middle of the night when the house goes black Silence gets loud and attacks my mind You ever had a memory you can’t outrun? Like it’s duct-taped tight and it weighs a ton? But I should just smile more, “manifest the sun” Throw a hashtag on it—#HealingDone They want good vibes only, keep it light Throw some glitter on the darker nights Maybe post a quote like “Live, Laugh, Anything but dread” While I’m fighting these flashbacks in my head You call it dark—I call it honest You call it pain—I call it progress You want the highlight reels, the polished I’m posting bloopers from the process Sorry I don’t filter these scars Or crop out all the broken parts If truth makes you uncomfortable You can always skip these bars No hard feelings—respectfully. Hook: This is real for me Every scar, every memory If it sounds too heavy Maybe you were never meant to carry me But for the ones who relive those nights They swore they left behind If my music keeps you breathing That’s the reason I write Verse 2: You ever stand in a crowded room Still feel like you’re buffering doom? Brain on 2%—no charger in view But yeah, I’ll just “drink water,” that’ll do “Have you tried boxed breathing?” Appreciate it. “Think positive thoughts.” Innovative. Didn’t know trauma was so persuasive— Guess I’ll tell my PTSD it’s overrated. Healing’s messy, it’s not aesthetic Not Pinterest boards or inspirational metrics It’s sweeping floors and checking exits It’s “I’m fine” while your pulse is hectic If I don’t write it, it builds inside Turns into anger I try to hide Leaks out sideways, hurts my pride So I put it in music—let it ride I’m not glamorizing pain for views I’m not farming tears for a trending meme I’m saying things most people won't admit Only in silence, behind the scenes If hope looks different than you were told If strength ain’t shiny or dipped in gold Sometimes it’s just not letting go Even when you’re tired of being “so strong.” Yeah. That part. Bridge – Spoken: Look— I’m not confused about who gave me this gift. God did. Not for clout. Not for algorithms. Not for “main character energy.” He gave me this as an outlet. When I feel anger—this is where it goes. Frustration—this is where it goes. The weight I can’t carry alone—this is where it goes. This is real for me. I need this. This is therapy for me. And if that makes the timeline uncomfortable? You can mute me. I’ll survive. Final Hook (Stripped Down): This is real for me Not a trend, not imagery Just a heart on a melody Trying to set somebody free For the ones who relive those nights They swore they left behind If my honesty keeps you breathing I’m good with crossing lines (Outro – Spoken): So no, it’s not “too much.” It’s just real. And for the ones who get it— The ones fighting battles off-camera— You’re not dramatic. You’re not weak. You’re not “doing the most.” You’re surviving. And honestly? That’s more than enough #ThisIsRealForMe #MentalHealth #PTSD #Anxiety #RealMusic #ChristianArtist #HealingIsMessy