My child has a difficult temperament. How can I help my child interact better with others? скачать в хорошем качестве

My child has a difficult temperament. How can I help my child interact better with others?

So what do you do with a child with a difficult temperament? Temperament is a fascinating subject, and there's quite a bit of literature about it. You might find many different opinions as you talk to various experts, but let me give you my experience with temperament. There was a study performed in New York state of about 130 (or so) subsequently born infants. And the families that were interested in the study and became part of the study, agreed that from birth until the children were maybe young adults, the researchers, who were psychiatrists, would have access to observations in the home, in the school, on the playground, and so forth. They discovered or indicated there are at least 9 temperamental behaviors that children have. And one of them is called mood, one of them is called threshold, one of them is called activity, one is called rhythmicity, which, by the way, has nothing to do with music, but it's whether you're hungry the same time of day, whether you're sleeping the same time of day, and on, and on, and on. And they discovered, among other things, that there was a particular constellation of temperament that they liked to call a "mother killer". And the "mother killer", not literally killing a mother, but just a very difficult child with whom to live, often was very persistent, had a predominantly negative mood, and also had a very low threshold, and usually was quite active at the same time. What they found in discovering several children who fit this temperamental profile, was that it was important for the parent to take the child seriously, but not to take the child personally. In other words, not to take the child as a reflection of their somehow failings as a parent. Their study, more or less, indicated that people like Berry Brazelton, who have done a lot of work on newborn/infant behavior, have shown that infants are really born with a set of skills, or a skill-set of temperamental activities and behavior that you can begin to identify even in the nursery. And in trying to identify what your child's particular temperamental skills or predispositions are is enormously helpful in dealing with that. Let me give you an example. So a child is somewhat persistent, sometimes reluctant in new situations, doesn't adapt well - what they might call a slow-to-warm-up child. And so the child is 3 or 4 years old, and the child has been invited to a birthday party in the neighborhood from a family that the child knows a little bit. So what do those parents do, knowing the temperamental predisposition of that child? Well, maybe a week before the birthday party, they will take the child and just walk past the house where the birthday party is going to be held. And then maybe 3 or 4 days before the birthday party, they may take the child, and go knock on the front door, and say hello to the mother of the child or maybe even say hello to the child. And then when the birthday day finally comes, they take the child, who is a little slow to warm up, and also a little reluctant for new experience, has had the experience to make that a much more comfortable endeavor. And in identifying what the temperamental needs are of the child, you can sometimes make their adjustment to friendships and playing with others much simpler.