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Consoomer Maxxing

These days you have all these fitness and psychology influencers telling you that you need to work harder and make good use of your time, avoid processed foods and whatnot but what if you want to waste your time and you want to eat the slop. Today we will be talking about consoomer maxxing, if I had to sum up what consoomer maxxing is in one word it would probably be consume which is pretty obvious but you only gave me 1 word so what did you expect. To be somewhat serious though life today is all about being a good little worker, pay your taxes, watch the latest tv shows eat the processed garbage and repeat the cycle again and again, this is all well and good but this isnt consoomer maxxing and for the brave there will always be the opportunity to take it to the next level to go one step further beyond. What I just described is the average person but to be a consoomer you must take it to that next level. If your willingness to consoom isn’t affecting you financially then you cant really call yourself a consoomer, you need to be behind on your rent to fund your Funko pops addiction just to even be worthy enough to have the title consoomer. But even still that’s not enough to be considered a consoomer maxxer and proclaim yourself as the consoomer king. In todays video we will be looking at how to consoomer max and the dos and don’t s of consoomer maxxing. Step 1 the foundations of being a consoomer some may say this is trivial but I believe that without a steady intake of soy the ability to consoom is heavily restricted, studies conducted by stoic stick research group have found that when comparing soy and non soy participants the ability to consoom was ermm lets say 25% greater in soy participants than non soy participants, if it sounded like I just made that statistic up then you are mistaken and clearly the soy has gotten to your brain. And even if I was pulling stats out my arse you the viewer are not bothered enough to fact check this video so in the end what really is the truth anyway. So to increase soy intake you CAN eat tofu soy nuts edamame beans but these are unprocessed and natural foods that have relatively low soy content, if you really want to crank things up you should look to increase your soy oils and fake meat intake as these are highly processed and contain a lot of soy isoflavones which are the magical compound responsible for increasing estrogenic activity, which is what some have linked with the soy boy behaviour that is often associated with being a consoomer. But for those who really want to consoomer max they will need to take isoflavone supplements that you can get over the counter, these ones are 1500mg per tablet and the recommended dose which I saw in some studies varied between 30mg and 900 mg so I guess we are going to be taking more than what’s recommended. Soy also is rumoured to decrease testosterone levels in men, testosterone is often associated with aggression and other traits that directly go against the consoomer maxxing ethos and should be avoided with great care, so the fact that soy can both increase estrogenic activity and decrease testosterone levels puts it in a pretty special place for those who like to consoomer maxx. The estrogenic effects of soy are also linked with gynecomastia but that’s a small price to pay for the chance to be crowned consoomer king. Step 2 is spending every waking second consooming and retaining knowledge, information and trivia related to your primary consoomption media. You need to watch the shows, directors cut obviously as that’s where they pander to the consoomers most. you need to be on the forums, if you don’t spend atleast 3 hours a day debating with another consoomer about which fictional character can beat up the other fictional character with encyclopedic levels of knowledge about your character then you clearly an amateur and are not serious. If you don’t know that in his 73rd comic 3rd edition actually has the ability to turn his radioactive after having them dipped in a vat of nuclear waste then you just aren’t serious about this are you? Your are never serious about anything? When are you gonna start to actually take some accountabilitliy huh? Show some initiative eh you’ve already let down a lot of people in your life are you really gonna let yourself down too? No? well get out.