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Lui Takane and Mio Ookami play Is Simon There? Original stream: • 【Is Simon There?】久々のホラゲだけど大丈夫そ???【鷹嶺ル... @TakaneLui @OokamiMio On a sultry fall day, around the time when the combine harvesters roared and rattled and bumbled along through the endless waves of golden grain, two alienists paid a visit to Marine Manor, where, it was said, the sole resident suffered from a condition of the paratemporal persuasion. They walked up the dirt drive to the old house, the siding of which seemed to have been peeled from the hull of a whaling ship. Instead of a weathervane, a crow’s nest pointed heavenward, capped with a flag that read, ‘Here there be treasure!’ in crimson stitching. At the steps leading up to the porch, they stopped and began to converse in hushed tones. The taller of the two was smartly dressed, professional down to the pocket protector with impeccably polished Oxfords on her feet. She had eyes that could find Waldo in a candy cane factory in the dead of night, the grit of one who had worked in a management position at a Japanese company, and the brain of a bird. “Okay, Wolfe. Remember, age is a touchy subject for our client. Be sure to make no reference to the passage of time, no matter how oblique. Do otherwise and, I assure you, we are in for quite a scene.” Her partner, Wolfe, shorter than her if one did not count her massive ears, swallowed and nodded. If one looked closely, one could tell she was trembling according to the frequency of the more energetic shades of light, given her a certain blurred appearance that was not easy on the eye. “Hawke?” she stuttered. “Yes?” “I’m scared.” “Don’t be.” Hawke clapped a hand on the shoulder of her terrified companion. It was like holding an electric jigsaw running at full throttle. “We’ve got this,” she said, sounding like she were talking through the blades of a fan. Together they walked up the few creaky steps, crossed the porch and stood before the front door, which was adorned with a considerable brass knocker. As Hawke reached out to grasp it, the door flung wide and a red-haired, twin-tailed ‘teen’ pirate of questionable age leapt out like a demented goblin and proceeded to greet them with dance moves that, at best, could be considered interpretive. “Ahoy! It is I, the Admiral! Welcome aboard, my new mateys. I’ve got homemade grog and store-bought hardtack for everyone. Oh! And limes.” She threw herself forward, seeming boneless as an octopus, and said, “Can’t have you getting scurvy, now, can we?” “Dear God,” said Hawke, stepping back. “It’s worse than I thought. Wolfe! Hand me the lobotomy kit.” She held out her hand without looking back. When the requested instruments where not forthcoming, she said, “Wolfe?” and turned around to find that her partner was a small black speck running back down the dirt driveway, growing smaller. “Looks like your friend’s sailing away,” said the Admiral, who had slithered up and stood shoulder to shoulder with Hawke. “This is just like last time,” sighed Hawke. She clapped her hands to her mouth. “Did you just say…” Lightning punctuated her voice, blanketing the landscape in white annihilation before the painted world spilled back into being in hues darker and more terrible. “…‘time’?” “No,” said Hawke, staring straight ahead, breathing in short, rapid bursts. “I said, ‘lime’.” “Don’t lie to me,” said the Admiral, voice heavy like an undertow. She stood on her toes and whispered into Hawke’s ear. “I’ll make you swab the poop deck.” Hawke swallowed. Her face glistened with sweat. Suddenly, she squinted and thrust her head forward as if to make something out. “What’s that?” “What’s wha—” “FALCON KICK!” The Admiral went soaring headfirst through the galley window behind them, limp like gigantic, soggy radish. By the time her body hit the floorboards inside, Hawke was halfway down the drive and gaining speed. Roaring up from the opposite direction was a black Prius with the driver-side window rolled down and Wolfe’s floppy-eared head sticking out. Hawke nearly ripped the passenger-side door off its hinges before throwing herself inside. “Go!” she screamed. Wolfe locked up the front tires and punched the pedal through the floor, leaning a hard left on the wheel, causing the car to spin in a half-circle before releasing the e-brake and rocketing down the driveway, eating potholes like Cheerios, until they came out squealing out onto the paved road back to town. In stunned silence, they drove on for half a minute. Hawke looked at Wolfe and Wolfe looked at Hawke and they shared a nervous chuckle which ramped up into guffaws of relief and terror-induced insanity. After they had laughed their guts out and wiped the tears from their eyes, they sat silent in their seats and stared out the windshield. From the backseat, a familiar voice. “…ahoy.” ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/leifmaplesson