Unconditional love / Unconditional Parenting скачать в хорошем качестве

Unconditional love / Unconditional Parenting

www.DadNasium.org I highly recommend Alfie Kohn's book, it helped me tremendously:  Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason. Get it on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2wss34u And, The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind - https://amzn.to/2KK2bEH Unconditional Love (Really?!) When my first child was born I wanted him to act like a mature adult. I know, in hindsight, it’s ridiculous. I’ll share 3 reasons why children cannot act like adults. It was while reading the book The Whole-Brain Child that I found the most important reason to update my attitudes towards my children, it is something called Object Permanence (stages of development). Reason 1) Have you ever wonder why babies like playing pick-a-boo? (When you put your hand if in front of your face). It is because the moment they don’t see you, in their minds, you have disappeared. And when they see you again they get excited. I also found out that 2) children do not become self-aware until about age thirteen, and 3) human brains continue to develop into our mid-twenties. There is no way around it, children can be very difficult. The way they process information is different than the way an adult process information. So, if you catch yourself saying, “How many times do I have to tell you the same thing?”, it is at that point that you must embrace how uniquely different children’s minds are and make adjustments. Remember, your child is not messing with you. Your child is not playing mind games with you. We now know children’s brains are developing, growing, evolving, while at the same time in their own particular way they attempt to figure out the world around them. They begin to choose for themselves the things they want, they want to have their own thoughts and their own feelings. From the moment they are born, despite the fact that they cannot hold their heads up, they desire their full independence. Author Alfie Kohn taught me about Unconditional Parenting. If you are anything like me, you just rolled your eyes. But, if you think as I did, that these children will do as I say, your children probably l grow up resenting you. And if our children resent us, then what was the point of having them? So, children want their independence, while they are still learning about who they are, the only way I see this is going to work out well is if we view the situation from a place of love. I know how this sounds. I may look warm and fuzzy to you but trust me I can fly off the handle in a second. And so, when I use terms like Unconditional love, or parenting from a place of love, it is learned behavior. And if I can do it, and you feel like you want to do it, then you totally can. Your most important question regarding this conversation may be: “Why bother with all the work?”. For me it is a two-part answer: 1) Because every man I have ever met, has a story about their father, and 2) When the boys and girls that I invite into this world become adults, I want them to have a good story to tell about me. https://www.alfiekohn.org/ http://www.drdansiegel.com/