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Why am I unhappy?

**In this video I am not speaking about Mental illness. Mental health conditions, such as depression, anxiety, behavioral and emotional disorders are real, common and treatable. Getting in touch with a mental health provider could be your next step. ** What makes us Unhappy... What makes us feel unhappiness in our own lives? In the attempt to help myself and others understand why and what causes our unhappiness I sat down to write a list but as soon as I started I hit a mental block. I was trying to write out a list of things that have made me sad throughout my life, but instead I was visited by a feeling of guilt. The kind of guilt that tells me that I shouldn’t be focusing on unhappiness, that I should be grateful for everything that I have. To not put any energy into negative things like my unhappiness. To instead, think of all the things that bring me joy and take action from that place. And though that’s very common and intelligent advice, something inside of me was still telling me that I needed to sit down and write out a list of what I think makes me unhappy. Because this could be helpful. I’d never done this before. And because I know there’s so much value in clarity and knowledge. For the next hour I tried to write things down and in this process I discovered the hopeless optimist inside of me. As far back as I can remember, I was someone that would always find the good in things or find a justification for anything negative or hurtful. I was deeply philosophical, empathetic and I felt empowered by knowing that the negativity of the world was “not personal’, that shit happens, and that often times, “people know not what they do” (and we all know who said that)….I just learned to always get back up and keep going with a smile on my face and practicing gratitude. I was conditioned to always lean into happiness. I’m sure a lot of you have learned this habit as well; in a big way it’s part of our survival mechanism and it’s what society wants to see. But the more we ostracize our feelings of disappointment and unhappiness, the less we understand about it. If we understand things better then we can help ourselves. It’s important to welcome all of our emotions and let them come and go. It’s also beneficial to be honest with ourselves and have the courage to face how we are Truly feeling when it’s not All good and happy. That there’s a place for our unhappiness. It’s common and familiar. We need to normalize it and not hide away with it. We shouldn’t be afraid of it or feel selfish or guilty for having these feelings. And we definitely should not push it away. There’s a research study showing that if you have a painful emotion and you try to push it away it leads to More painful emotions, which you try to push away and it gets to be a vicious cycle. This result is called the rebound effect of thought suppression. Emotions are sensations that shows up in our bodies. Sometimes they are messages that are trying to tell us something , sometimes it’s a chemical imbalance in our bodies and brains, sometimes it’s circumstantial and at times we just don’t know where they came from. Either way, all of our emotions are equally important to sit with and get to know. In mindfulness meditation you can learn a lot about emotional regulation; healthier ways to regulate your emotions. For so long, the emotion of Unhappiness or dis-satisfaction has lead many people to harmful addictive behaviors like substance abuse, isolation, the feeling of disconnection and unworthiness and way too much suffering. My hope is that we can change our relationship to our Unhappiness. Getting back to my list…in answering the question, What makes me unhappy? What makes me feel unhappiness in my life? I wrote down: Being alone or isolating myself for a long period of time. If I’m not healthy. Not feeling connected to others or my environment. Not having close friendships or a community. Being too far in proximity from my family and friends. If I’m lacking novelty or progress in my life and in my creativity. Not being a part of something meaningful or significant. Comparing myself. Seeing all the suffering in the world. Overly thinking about the past. Worrying about the future. Wanting things to be different than they are. And Chasing happiness. From my list it seems as if Unhappiness is a byproduct of fears, insecurities, delusions, expectations and disconnection…which mostly seems to stem from our thoughts. So much of our unhappiness comes from our thinking mind. Suffering comes from our mind. We need to take care of our emotions and our thoughts. Music license Ak - SkyHigh: Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/ak/sky-high License code: ZAAZ1VRVIPRSHQQE Rick - Rescue : Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/rick-gallagher/r... License code: CPQ7JARSBNOWEOVX ------- Videography & Editing by Vidas . Instagram: @vidasphotography