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Online Dating

TSHIRTS!!!! AAAHHHHH http://maxnosleeves.spreadshirt.com Please subscribe to my channel! New Funderful Videos EVERY TUESDAY http://www.youtube.com/subscription_c... MaxNoSleeves Videos:    / maxnosleeves   Twitter:   / maxnosleeves   Tumblr:   / maxnosleeves   Facebook:   / nosleevesmax   Instagram:   / max_nosleeves   Online Dating This has sorta come up a lot lately in my life. A few friends of mine are all about the online dating. They're on Match.com, they've taken the Chemistry.com personality quiz, they're on fucking Tinder all day every day... I'm single (I tend to think of myself as a one man wolf pack) and while I'm not exactly dating anybody this whole concept of online dating kinda makes my head spin a little bit. I mean I guess it makes sense, we use technology or apps or whatever for everything from ordering a pizza to doing our taxes, why not automate dating? First let's define some shit: Match.com is like a classier craigslist -- you make your own post, you stalk/find your own people and do whatever you want. It's also the biggest, which is a mixed bag. eHarmony: is the one where you fill out a questionnaire and write essays before you start, then they match you with other people and send you the matches. Oh and heterosexuals only, because they're the only people who need love. OkCupid is free, but you have to fill out online polls and it seems "fun" which can quickly translate to "creepy" Chemistry, Match, OKCupid are all owned by the same company incidentally. Tinder is where you see people within an X mile radius and you say "yea I like the look of that person" or "fuck to the hellz no" I guess if it's used as a thing to get you out there and having fun then I'm all for it. Any mechanism that brings people together is great in my book. Red Flags: Cliches: like WTF man if you say things like "I love to laugh" or "I'm down to earth" or I love to travel" like no shit pal. I love eating and breathing and I feel like a big problem is guys are mixing up online dating with porn. So they see a girl and instead of being like "hi I'm max" they're all "how about boning." Or "here's a picture of my dick" Like no no no.. there's a real person on the other side of that one. Would you do that at the bar? "Hey there's a pretty girl, maybe I'll just walk over to her and show her my dick from a very unflattering angle" [spoiler -- every angle is unflattering. Dicks are not pretty.] Maybe head over to pornhub. And maybe the problem is that people think they don't have to deal with the anxiety of meeting someone new if they're doing it online -- big mistake. Your anxiety will translate online trust me. But now you're combining anxiety of meeting somebody new with the creepiness of being online and it's just a clusterfuck of mistake. Bottom line: I find it incredibly insulting that people think they've figured out love. I mean talk about the most unsolvable of mysteries in the fuckin human condition. Adam and Eve, Antony and Cleopatra, Romeo and Juliet, Don Juan, Lancelot and Guinevere, Tristan and ISolde, Gone with the Wind... Nope... nope I'm fat and I have a beard and I figured out love. Yea, you know that thing that humans have been trying to figure out for 100,000 years? Yea don't sweat it I plugged it into my excel spreadsheet and now my algorithm spits out what your heart really wants. Oh and by the way I'm gonna make a buck off it. But not to let you off the hook, it's incredible arrogant to think that you have any idea of what the fuck you want. I mean if you're plugging your shit into the profile, that means you're picking and choosing what you think you want. He's gotta be this tall, she's gotta have this degree, they've gotta be within 10-15 miles of my house. I believe in love. I believe in finding love somewhere you had no fucking idea it would be. You just look up and BOOM some girl knocks you on your ass like you were hit by lightning. Someone you meet and start talking to and then you blink and it's 10 years later and you think, "how the fuck did that happen?" Here's what we're looking for -- we're all looking to make sure we're not alone in the universe. But at the same time, the person is the one filling out the information and expecting a shortcut to their soul mate I believe you can fall for a person that you never saw coming and she wasn't your type, she wasn't just the closest person around, she didn't pass your checklist... but when you're around her she makes you happy and nervous and happy then you know you've found that person to make your life special. You go through life looking for that person because when you find it, nothing else matters.