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Sexual Orientation vs Erotic Orientation

In this video, I break down a distinction that many people miss: sexual orientation vs. erotic orientation. Our culture often treats identity like it should be one-size-fits-all, but real life is more nuanced. Sexual orientation is about who you’re attracted to, while erotic orientation is about what turns you on — the fantasies, dynamics, roles, and scenarios that create arousal and pleasure. Understanding that difference can reduce shame and confusion, especially if you’ve noticed your fantasies don’t neatly match your attraction or the label you identify with. I also talk about concepts like heteroflexible and homoflexible, and I share examples from kink/fetish contexts (including cuckolding vs. hotwifeing) to show how context and erotic headspace can shape desire without automatically redefining who you are. I also mention two short, client-friendly booklets I use to help people make sense of these concepts: Cracking the Erotic Code (for gay men): https://www.amazon.com/Cracking-Eroti... Erotic Orientation (for straight people): https://www.amazon.com/Erotic-Orienta... Question for you: Have you ever realized your turn-ons didn’t match who you’re attracted to? Leave a comment with your thoughts. Timestamps (Chapters): 0:00 Intro 0:29 Labels vs. behavior 1:06 Sexual vs. erotic orientation 1:21 Erotic mismatch (power/shame) 2:21 Heteroflexible 2:42 Homoflexible 3:01 Fetish example 3:29 Cuckolding vs. hotwifeing 4:56 Homoerotic ≠ homosexual 5:12 My books 5:50 Straight men as bottoms 7:05 Other orientations 7:48 Follow + subscribe 8:50 Client story 9:03 Outro Instagram:   / drjoekort   Facebook:   / drjoekort   TikTok:   / drjoekort   LinkedIn:   / joekort   Twitter (X): https://x.com/drjoekort Threads: https://www.threads.com/@drjoekort Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/drjoekort.bs... Podcasts: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1750559/ep... Website: https://joekort.com/